


Supernatural Season 13 meta

by karoffelbrei89



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archived From Tumblr, Meta, Meta Essay, Nonfiction, Supernatural meta, cross-posted from tumblr, spn meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 13:29:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 44,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17023485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karoffelbrei89/pseuds/karoffelbrei89
Summary: Collection of my metas I wrote for season 13 of Supernatural. I wrote those at the time the season aired, so some speculations might be completely wrong. Posting here as an archive because tumblr is no longer safe.





	1. Thoughts about Supernatural 13x01

**Thoughts about Supernatural 13x01**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Also, there might be spoilers.

First of all:

[Originally posted by giwrgoslaz](https://tmblr.co/Z_KMLm27dhnIs)

I have them. All of them. I’m glad the Moose told us two days after 12x23 that Cas would be back or otherwise I’m sure I wouldn’t have survived this episode. If their intention was to hurt us in all the best ways they sure delivered. The episode felt to me almost like a coda; it focused on the aftermatch of 12x23, on the characters and their emotions, without a lot of plot. The emotional themes of the season were established - question of idendity, family (especially fatherhood), and at least for the first episodes loss and grief. I expect that the actual mytharc will probably start of in 13x02 & 13x03. If anything it was slow, really emotional start into the new season, that I liked a lot.

**Father**

It was the first word spoken in the new season, and I think fatherhood is gonna be one of the central themes of the season. It certainly was of this episode. Jack first asks if Sam is his father, and even though he is not, it is clear Sam is going to become a father figure to Jack.

Now, let’s skip ahead to what I believe was the most interesting part of the episode.

 

> **Jack _:_** _Lucifer? No, that’s not his name. My father is Castiel._
> 
> **Sam:** _What?_
> 
> **Jack:** _My Mother, she said Castiel – he would keep me safe. She said the world was a dangerous place, that’s-that’s why I couldn’t be a baby or a child. I-that’s why I had to grow up fast, that’s why I chose him to be my father._

There is so much in this short exchange and I try to break it all down. First of all this brings back the theme of “ _family by blood vs family by choice_ ”. Or to say it in the words of a wise man: “ _Family doesn’t end with blood, but it doesn’t start there either_ ”. Jack has been defined as Lucifer’s son so much, it is one of the reasons Dean believes he is evil, and yet given the choice Jack chooses Cas as his father. This is so huge.

This goes back to Kelly and the connection she had with her son. Jack said he wasn’t talking to her but rather, he was her. I don’t think he used her as a vessel, but rather that it was some sort of symbiote. They both influenced each mother. Jack brought his mother back from the dead and he gave her the vision of Cas saving her. In return Kelly teached her son everything she thought he needed in order to survive. She taught him to grow up, because it would be safer (and that is the first time we get the “ _magical child grows up really fast_ ”-trope with a logical explanation), she taught him that Cas would keep him safe. Dean says again that both Cas and Kelly were brainwashed by Jack, and I believe there is some truth to that (simply because they made Dean repeat that for the audience), but I also think it might be more complex than that. It doesn’t make Jack evil. If anything it is another example of him not being fully able to control his powers.

After 12x23 I speculated that Kelly’s video message would become important again and I think it will at some point. So far Jack has been influenced way more by his mother (he described Dagon as the bad woman) than his (biological) father. He seemed genuinely sad about her passing and distraught after he learned that Cas died as well. I’m pretty sure he will go astray eventually, but not in the long run.  “ _It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities._ ”

[Originally posted by radioactiveflower](https://tmblr.co/ZaRtdq1TU97PW)

Jack’s first choice was Cas (as his father), trusting the choices his mother made for him. And let’s say I’m right and Jack turns out to be a good egg in the end, this leaves the question where his place is in the narrative. Dean’s prayer made it clear that Chuck has left the building, so there is a vacancy. Jack as heaven’s new ruler? With Cas as his guide? We will see.

(Also the two angels at the lake house represented the two sides of heaven to me right now: the one side who thought Cas got what he deserved and thought of Kelly as a brood mare, and the other side, who thought Cas deserved better and thought of Kelly as a mother, meaning they value human life.)

Anyway, Jack is (obviously) still on a learning curve. He felt sorry for what he had done (to the sheriff and her son), but for a moment I actually expected him to heal Clark. Maybe he doesn’t know he can this yet. Looks like somebody should teach him that.

[Originally posted by empirefoxtv](https://tmblr.co/ZbdSul24zoFer)

Also, that line from the sheriff? “ _There is no such thing as weird, everyone is normal in their own way._ ” Ok, I admit my first thought was that her son is gay (the actor actually played Kevin’s boyfriend in “ _Riverdale_ ”). But I think it is a general statement about idendity, about finding out who you are and accepting yourself. Which I think can apply to Jack, Cas, Sam and Dean. Idendity has always been a big theme on the show.

**We lost everything**

Dean. Oh Dean. I’m really actually worried about him, because it is clear that he has lost all hope. His first instinct after leaving Cas’s body? Killing the thing he thinks is responsible. And look Dean was suspicious of Jack before, but I think with Cas still alive his reaction wouldn’t have been that extreme.

His nightmare, seeing Mary burn, re-living his trauma all over again. Believing her to be gone, because in his current state he can’t afford any kind of hope.

Not after his prayer, after realizing that Chuck won’t listen this time. After having been told that not even Jack could bring Cas back (and that angel lady just knew that that was Dean’s first instinct and used it to hurt him even more). Dean is beyond hope. No longer a hero, just a guy doing his job. Hurting himself so that he can feel anything. He is in such a dark place right now, that will probably mirror the literal dark place Cas is in now. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see him act in a way that makes it clear he no longer cares if he lives or dies.

And this is the opposite of “ _You and me against the world_ ”. Because having Sam is no longer enough. Losing both Mary and Cas has given Dean the final blow. His world has grown bigger, the show has grown bigger, and the Sam-Dean-only-unit no longer works.

**Dean? No, it’s Becky**

(this is a [Taylor joke nobody will get](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fjennaguillaume%2Ftaylor-swift-no-its-becky%3Futm_term%3D.vtKo6xrJ7%23.sx139O2Kj&t=ZThhMmNiZjExNWM0ZTkxMWE2NWJlYjg2YjdhODQ4ODYxYmY4OTZiZSxOWFEwMEtiUg%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166369838912%2Fthoughts-about-supernatural-13x01&m=1) but I think I’m hilarious)

I’m kinda curious about Miriam, the drunk lady angel. She didn’t seem very angelic. Was she already possesed in the dinner? What was her motive with Jack? She didn’t wanted to kill him, but use him. For what?

And speaking of motives: What would Lucifer need Mary for? The only reason I came up with is to use her as a vessel, so that he could travel through her back to our world. Please don’t.

Overall I really liked the episode. I liked the way they portayed Jack so far; there are great possibilities for future storylines. It was probably one of the most painfull episodes regarding Destiel, but it was oh so good. But mostly I’m just happy to have my show back <3


	2. Thoughts about Spn 13x02

**Thoughts about Spn 13x02**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

**Trigger warning for mentions of self-harm and suicide  
**

~~I felt asleep on the sofa. Don’t mention it.~~

Ah Bucklemming. On the plus side: they didn’t kill off a fan favourite. On the down side: everything else? It just felt like exposition, exposition, expostion, that really cool thing Dean did with the angel blade, expostion. Like a big info dump instead of an episode, with a weird cutting between the scenes, and the usual awkward dialogues (do they even read their scripts? Do they think actual people talk like this?). I mean we had worse from them, but it always saddens me to see in one week how great this show can be (13x01) and then we have this. I don’t think there was much to learn about the characters, at least nothing we didn’t already know, so I will focus a bit more on the mytharc stuff and what we could possible see in this season.

**Bizarro World**

In which Mary lands in apocalypse world and her hair still looks better than mine *sigh*. I really hope they kill of Lucifer, simply because the guy (and the dude who plays him) likes to hear himself talk. And is it just me but I think the reason why he keeps Mary alive doesn’t really make sense? He wants her as a trade for his son, but a trade doesn’t sound like Lucifer. Like, at all. I assumed he would just take Jack with him, and needed Mary to get back to our world. And by now I’m not sure iof Jack even wanted to be reunited with Lucifer, but maybe Dean’s behaviour will get him there? Believing his father is the only one who cares about him? (And does he? Don’t give this character feelings or a redemption arc, please don’t)

So, we learned a few new things about bizarro world. Appearently women are hard to find, which turned all men into rapists, because Bucklemming can’t write an episode without any sort of sexual assault in it. Angels dress up like soldiers, and Michael is cosplaying Cas. And he doesn’t kill Lucifer because he needs him, hopefully not for another trade. But why though? I wonder if this Micheal regrets killing Lucifer, because the big endfight didn’t bring paradise on earth like promised. Now he is stuck in an eternal warzone and maybe that is why he needs Lucifer to fix it? Also, look at these screencapes from the [Shaving things promo](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fvimeo.com%2F236970857&t=MGI4YjhiMjMzNzViNmMzODAwMmI5OGU4ZTc1ZDU5Nzk1M2JjOGUyZSxvS2lLb09ESQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166619184357%2Fthoughts-about-spn-13x02&m=1): (credit to [@postmodernmulticoloredcloak](https://tmblr.co/mf4M6zzYHBBds6ET4AADySQ))

  


That looks like a cage to me. Is this some sort of ritual? Let me hear your thoughts. 

**Asmodeus**

I already don’t like him. Dude looks like a comic book villian in his white suit and his accent makes it hard for me to understand what he says. I had a hard time understanding why he would wanted Lucifer and Jack to return, especially after he told stunt demon number three how Lucifer humiliated him, but at the end the picture got clearer. Asmodeus is out for revenge, and he tries to get Jack in order to help him achive his goal (the same way Crowley wanted to use Amara, and we all know how that ended). He asks (as Donatello) Sam about two things: Jack’s powers and his relationship to Lucifer. What he learns: Jack might be one day even more powerfull than Lucifer and he barely knows his father. Bucklemming are not very subtle with it, but you can see the direction in which this is going and why Asmodeus won’t stop to manipulate Jack. 

Other than that Asmodeus was used to introduce a whole lot of new stuff to the show’s mythology. In true Bucklemming fashion they just created new stuff instead of working within the existing mythology, to make the story they wanted to tell work. I hated it. 

So, appearently Princes of Hell can shapeshift, which from now on will have us second guessing everyone who even looks at Jack. Also, there is another gate of hell, a special one, because why not? Makes Azazel’s big plan in season 2 kind of redundant. And now there are the Shedim, who will probably play a bigger role in this season. They are actually quite interesting, at least if you look at their [wikipedia entry](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FShedim&t=YzQwMGEzYTI2YTVjMmEzZGJhMDE4ZDQzNjFjNDQwNTBkY2Y3ZjZiYixvS2lLb09ESQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166619184357%2Fthoughts-about-spn-13x02&m=1):

> _Shedim are said to have had the feet and claws of a rooster and share some characteristics both of human and angels. Like angels, they know the future and have wings, but like humans they eat, drink, procreate and die. […] The shedim are not always seen as malicious creatures and are also considered to be helpful to humans._

That… sounds like Jack? not the rooster part of course, but: both human and angel? Check. Knows the future (his vision in 12x19) and has wings (can teleport)? Check. Eats and drinks (and sleeps)? Check. Helpful to humans? Check. [But also](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FAsmodeus&t=NDM0MzFmYTc5Y2RlM2I0NzllNWNhODBkMDhlMGVhYWZjMzc3YWI4ZSxvS2lLb09ESQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166619184357%2Fthoughts-about-spn-13x02&m=1):

> _Asmodeus is a king of demons […]. In Jewish and Islamic lore he is the king of the demons (Shedim/Jinn)._

Asmodeus is already linked to the Shedim, he wants to free them, but he also wants to free Jack (”Jack, they wanna stop you. Contain you”). 

**Nougat**

Can someone just like hug him? Kid needs a hug. A lot of what we saw was a continuation of 13x01: Sam thinks Jack can be good, Dean thinks he’s the devil. Nature vs nuture (and thanks Bucklemming for letting Donatello spelling it out, it’s not like every meta writer came to this conclusion since may this year). So far the jury is still out. What we know is that Jack is powerfull, enough to draw Donatello to him, and that he will become more powerfull. But his powers still don’t seem like a part of him, he has no control over them. He uses them unknowingly during times of emotional stress: when he is afraid, or hurting, or angry. He needs to learn to understand his emotions and how his powers are influenced by them, or else he ends up like the next Anakin Skywalker. ([@margarittet](https://tmblr.co/mNycyDS2bX5waei7uXBregw) wrote a great meta about the connections between Star Wars and what we could possible see in season 13, go read it). 

Jack is still paralled a lot to ~~his foster dad~~ Cas. We start the episode with him sleeping in the back of the car like Cas did in 5x22, he enjoys TV the way Cas does (Scooby Doo, so you can bet Jack is somehow causing _Scoobynatural_ ) and he desperately wants Dean’s approveal. Mimicking Dean? That is what Cas has been doing for years. His whole manuael on how to be human is to act like Dean. And what is the first thing Dean teaches him about being human? that pain is being part of it. Because at the moment Dean is nothing but hurting.

There was a short moment where Jack rembered Lucifer reaching out to him, which was quite interesting, because if anything Jack seemed afraid of him. Donatello tells us that his power is not dark or toxic like Lucifer’s was, but then again power is just power, neither good or bad. 

Sam tells Jack that he believes he is worth saving, like his mother and Cas did. Unlike them Sam though was never influenced by Jack. His faith in him is genuine. Also, with all the brainwashing talk, we should remember that Kelly already loved her son before 12x19. She wanted to keep him, to raise him, to take care of him. It was only after she learned that she wouldn’t be able to do so, and that Dagon would twist him into something evil, that she decided to take her life. At least when it comes to Kelly I like to believe she and Jack influenced each other in equal parts. “ _I was her_ ”.

So what is Jack to the Winchesters? In the tattoo parlour Sam says they are brothers, that the tattoo is a family crest. But the tattoo vanishes, and though it is unintentional on Jack’s side it is rather symbolic. He is not a part of the Winchester family (yet). Later he calls them his friends. 

The ending scene was pretty heavy. Jack doesn’t know who he is. More so, he is afraid to find out, that he will hurt everyone around him and can’t be saved. It was an interesting choice that Dean stopped him. Dean, who never believed he deserved to be saved, not after hell or the MoC. And he tells Jack the same. And I get where Dean was coming from, why he said, but that doesn’t make it OK. Dean telling Jack he will be the one to kill him makes me believe the opposite now, that Dean will die for Jack (who will bring him back of course). 

Also, when Jack read the bible we saw [The Book of Solomon](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSong_of_Songs&t=MzA3NDliYjg5YTk4ZjdkNjlmZmZhZTYxM2U3NzE3NmRiYzhkZGM2ZCxvS2lLb09ESQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166619184357%2Fthoughts-about-spn-13x02&m=1) opening:

> _Jewish tradition reads it as an allegory of the relationship between God and Israel. Christian tradition, in addition to appreciating the literal meaning of a romantic song between man and woman, has read the poem as an allegory of Christ and his “bride”, the Christian Church._

Now, I already speculated about Jack’s fate on the show. If he turns out to be good where will be his place in the universe? I could see him replacing God, and him reading a text about the relationship between God and his chosen people? Interesting.

Anyway, “What would Mr. Rogers do?” is a motto we should all live by.


	3. 13x02 Afterthoughts

**13x02 Afterthoughts**

So, after 13x02 we all talked about the throwbacks to season 10, especially 10x09 and Dean’s request that Cas kills him if he goes dark side, paralled with Dean’s promise to Jack that he will kill him if the same happens to him. There have been some obvious parallels between Dean’s MoC-storyline and Jack’s potentional future in season 13. And of course the old debatte of nature vs nuture.

Now, I just rewatched 10x06 today and couldn’t help but see another parallel. In the episode we met Olivia, a shapeshifter, who has been locked away her whole life.

> _**OLIVIA:** After Bobby killed my father, he came after me.  Mother pleaded with him to spare me.  He agreed, under one condition. _
> 
> _**SAM:** That she keep you locked up. _
> 
> _**OLIVIA:** For my safety, and the safety of others.  Mother told the family she lost the baby.  And she locked me in the attic.  But she remained devoted to me until the very end – Even got Bobby to promise to take care of me if anything happened to her. _
> 
> _**SAM:** Wait a minute.  Then, Bobby spared you.  You should be grateful. _
> 
> _**OLIVIA:** For what?  Keeping me locked up my whole life? It would have been kinder to kill me. _
> 
> _**SAM:** Olivia…you don’t have to do this.   **Being a monster is a choice.**_
> 
> _**OLIVIA: That choice was made for me a long time ago.** _

Sam tells her that being a monster is a choice, the same way he believes that Jack has the choice to be good. But Olivia replies that this choice was already made for her, that she was never really free. They locked her away, treated her as a monster, so a monster she became (at least after her mother, the only person who ever loved her, died). Jack’s mother died as well, and I think her love for him was genuine as well, because she did love him before 12x19. Dean already treats him like the monster he thinks Jack will become. He already made that choice. The question is, will this lead Jack to become what he fears the most?


	4. Team Free Nougat

**Team Free Nougat**

Some speculation about the future of Team Free Will regarding Jack 

So far we have seen how Sam and Dean have reacted to Jack. They are not at the same page. Sam is convinced Jack can be good, that his powers can be used for good, with the right upbringing. Dean on the other hand thinks that Jack will end up evil, that he can’t hide from his true nature, which is being the son of Lucifer. Neither are entirely right or wrong, and both their judgements are clouded by emotions. 

Sam wants to believe Jack can be good, besides being Lucifer’s son, that our choices define who we are, because of what happened to him as a child through Azazel. Sam sees himself in Jack, the boy who thinks he is a freak, but only wants to do good.

Dean makes Jack responsible for the death of Cas and the loss of his mother, even though he rationally knows that Jack didn’t kill them. He still blames him for brainwashing Cas and Kelly, and that someone as powerfull as Jack will abuse his powers sooner or later.

Because the fact alone that Lucifer is his father doesn’t make Jack evil (especially now that Lucifer is trapped and can’t influence him), at least not from a moral viewpoint. Jack didn’t inerit his father’s character after all (quite the opposite) but his powers, and as we know now he will become even more powerfull in the end than his father.

Power alone is not evil or good. It is neutral. But power can corrupt and can be abused. That is where Dean and I think heaven as well are coming from; they won’t take the risk to find out how such a powerfull being will evolve. They saw how power corrupted Lucifer and Amara and don’t want history to repeat itself. 

As I said neither Sam or Dean are entirely right with their judgements of Jack. So far though Jack has been presented as pure and innocent, though perhaps a bit naive. On a surface reading it is Sam who to the general audience seems to be on the right side. If anything the last scene of 13x02 made that even more clearer. Telling the manchild who hurt himself repeatedly because he is afraid of himself,  that he doesn’t believe he can be saved and that he will kill him if that turns out to be right doesn’t make Dean look sympathic. Like at all. 

I think this divide between the brothers was on purpose and that over the next episodes Dean will slowly come closer to Sam’s side, and not the other way around. Why? Like I said from a surface reading Sam has currently the moral highground. It will be easier to convince Dean that Jack is good than convincing Sam that Jack is evil. Because the only thing that could convince Sam of that right now is if Jack would do something that can’t be excused, an unreedamble act. Of course Jack will be making mistakes, but like opening the gate of hell in 13x02 it will be because he believed to do something good and/or is manipulated. We saw the reason why he did it, and even though it was wrong, we don’t question the morality of his character. The same way that Sam, Dean or Cas (and Mary) have done terrible things in the past, but for (what they believed) the right reasons. Those mistakes are ok, from a storytelling point of view, as long as the characters are still able to redeem themselves. 

(and [@postmodernmulticoloredcloak](https://tmblr.co/mf4M6zzYHBBds6ET4AADySQ) has explained [in this post](http://nerdylittleshit.tumblr.com/post/166727271042/dorkilysoulless-postmodernmulticoloredcloak) why Lucifer isn’t set up for a redemption arc)

Of course this only works if Jack is set up to be an inherently good person, which I believe he is. He will go dark side of course, because the show needs drama and tension, but not because he is bad, but because he is taken away and will go astray. We know that Sam supports Jack not for purely selfless reasons. He hopes that Jack can once again open the rift to bizarro world, so that they can get back their mother. There is of course nothing wrong with that wish, but I can see Lucifer twisting it in a way that Jack might believe the Winchesters only wanted him around for his powers/as a tool (which would be yet another Cas parallel). And then there is the trade Lucifer plans: Sam & Dean get Mary back, as long as he gets Jack. And though I believe Dean will become more sympathic towards Jack, he will remain wary, and given the choice between his mother and Jack, he will choose Mary. 

This way Jack could go dark side, manipulated by Lucifer, believing the Winchsters and Castiel abaddoned him after using him for his powers. But confrated with them again, maybe even given the choice to hurt/kill them, he refuses, and Team Free Nougat will once be reunited again.

Something else I am interested to see is how Cas will react to Jack. Basically will it be before or after 12x19? I hope that both the brainwashing aspect and the vision Jack showed Cas will be adressed in the show. Before 12x19 Cas acted in a way Dean reacts now; that Jack’s powers are a risk they can’t take. 

> _**Cas:** […]I am sorry, Kelly. The son of Lucifer this is a human/archangel hybrid. That power it’s beyond comprehension. Your child could bring the universe to its knees._   
>    
>  _**Kelly:** Or lift it to its feet. This baby –  nothing is born evil.  
>   
>  **Castiel:** **I can’t take that chance.** None of us can. _

and

> __**Kelly:** He saved me. He brought me back to life.   
>   
> **Castiel:** Well, that was the pulse. We felt that in Heaven.  
>   
>  **Kelly:** His power his soul surged through me, and it was good. Pure. I feel I know he is good.  
>   
>  **Castiel:** Kelly, what your child did, that’s a **testament to his power, but it’s not proof of some goodness.** He needs you alive. 

Cas struggled with his decision to kill both Kelly and her child, but he believed it to be necessary. Both scenes take place before Kelly took his hand and Jack’s grace took over Cas. We all know the rest of the story. So now that Jack is born he still needs a protector and we already that he choose Cas. So when Cas comes back will he still feel like he has to protect Jack? Spoilers from 13x06 indicate that he still sees himself as his guardian.

> _Castiel focuses all of this attention on Jack, pulling him out of harm’s way. “Cas really does see himself as guardian to this kid,” Collins says. It’s a relationship [Alexander] Calvert is hoping will translate to real life as well. ([source](http://ibelieveinthelittletreetopper.tumblr.com/post/166516309533/13x06-tombstone-spoilers#tumblr_notes))_

This will certainly bring some conflict between Dean and Cas, because as Dean said Cas’s connection to Jack is what got him killed. Does Cas act because Jack still in some ways controlls him? Was Cas one with him the way Kelly was with her son? Or does Cas act on his own free will, protecting Jack because he sees potentional in him the way Sam does?


	5. Thoughts about Spn 13x03

**Thoughts about Spn 13x03**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Because my computer hates me this is the second time I write this. F**k my life.

So. The first “ _Wayward Sisters_ ” episode. Yeah! Overall I liked this episode a lot, even though it was not what I expected. With Sam and Dean separated and Dean alone with not one but two mom characters I expected a lot of talk about feelings, which we got in the end but not how I pictured it. In hindsight this makes sense. This episode was an introduction to “ _Wayward Sisters_ ” and Patience, it was about her character and the groundwork of the spin-off we will hopefully get, and Dean’s grief (though still visible) shouldn’t be the focus. There were some parallels to the mytharc of the season – Jack – which in my opinion didn’t quite work, but apart from that it was a solid start for our girls.

The name of the episode - patience - is fitting, because not only is it about the character Patience, but about to act of being patient. Patience itself has a lot of [religious symbolism](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FPatience&t=NTgxMmMwZGRhYTZlNWRkYTI0NTJjMTA4ZWJjZTQwNjY2ZWY5ODBiZSxaZEN1SGhuMg%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166862907462%2Fthoughts-about-spn-13x03&m=1), and fits right in with the seasonal theme of loss and grief.

> _Patience (or forbearing) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean: persevering in the face of delay; provocation without acting on negative annoyance/anger; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can have before negativity._

Both Sam and Dean have to endure pain, both have to be patient for better days to come. In a more religious approach though patience is about having faith, it is about the act to believe in a better future. With the tease of Cas’s return at the end of the episode we know that Sam and Dean’s patience will be rewarded, even though of course they are not aware of this yet. Time will tell how much patience there is in Patience.

But before we come to her we have to talk about where her story starts, with Missouri. Sam recognizing her on the phone had me believe for a moment that they stayed in contact all those years, but they made it clear that the only time they met Missouri was back in season 1. Which makes her phone call to them even more interesting, especially a decade later, as she probably knew other hunters as well. Missouri of course knew about Dean’s losses, and the fact that Jody didn’t ask him about it makes me think Sam already told her. As I said I would have loved a conversation with either Missouri or Jody with Dean about his grief, but this episode was not the place for it.

I know there is probably a lot of wank about Missouri’s death, and I get it. Another female character, a woman of colour none the less, I feel you, and you have every right to be hurt by it. It sucks that we have yet another character whose story starts with the death of a (grand) mother figure, and given that Patience still has her dad I worry about him too, because she needs a reason why she lives with Jody. That said, I felt that Missouri’s death was different, because they have given her agency. She knew that she was about to die, she had the chance to ask Dean and Jody for help, but she didn’t. She accepted it and instead asked for Dean’s help in protecting her family. She chose the terms of her death, similar perhaps to the way Jo and Ellen died. As I said, you have every right to feel bitter about it, but from a storytelling point of view Bobo proved that he can write a better death scene than certain other writers.

Patience is a girl whose only interest so far is her academic career, before she eventually gets aware of her own gift and her family’s connection to the supernatural. Now she has to decide how to deal with it. The show tried to make a parallel here with Jack (and a smaller amount Sam), who has to choose what to do with his powers as well. It is the old thematic rerun of normal life vs hunting life and fate vs free will. The shoe though doesn’t fit. Both are young and have no control over their powers yet and it is clear that their powers are a part of them they can’t escape. Patience’s gift though is passive; it is something that is happening to her and it is her choice to act on it or not. By doing so she potentially puts her own life at risk or risks that someone else gets hurt where she could have prevented it. But it is in no way comparable with Jack’s powers.

Jack’s struggle is with himself, about finding out who he is. So far his powers have only caused pain, making him believe he is evil himself. No matter what his mother told him about free will and that he can choose what kind of person he wants to be, he believes his actions (intentional or not) speak for themselves. Jack is afraid of himself, of the darkness within him, and that Dean could be right about him. And in this aspect his story matches in no way Patience’s story. Patience’s story is about her powers, her family, and herself, but those are separate things (even though they are connected). Whereas Jack defines himself over his heritage and his powers alone, making him already cancel his initial choice of Cas as his father and his mother’s believe in free will.

With James we have a character that grew up similar to Sam and Dean, because apparently Missouri was a hunter as well (was this ever mentioned before? This info seems new to me). Just like Sam though he wanted out of the life, to live normal and give his family a normal life as well. It is no surprise then that he wants his daughter to return to her old life. What is more surprising though is Dean’s response to it.

> _**Dean:** This life - hunting, monsters - there’s no joy in it. There’s nothing but pain, horror, and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it._

This goes hand in hand with Dean’s later comment about Missouri’s death, that it was just another day at the office. Because Dean is done. With everything. He is so disconnected with his own life, with his job that gave him purpose, that Missouri’s death doesn’t affect him anymore. All he sees now is what the job cost him, what it keeps on costing him. There is no hope, no value in what he is doing anymore.

Which leads us to the end of the episode and oh, did Bobo deliver. I said after 12x22 that I believe that Bobo secretly reads all our metas because the conversation between Mary and Dean had addressed so many things we kept talking about for years. And the fight here between Sam and Dean does the same, including Sam’s status as special child/his demon blood addiction and John’s request to kill him.

> _**Dean:** You deserved to be saved. He doesn’t!_

Did anyone else thought of “ _You don’t think you deserve to be saved_ ”? Because Sam and Dean both see themselves in Jack, but in a complete different way. Sam believes Jack deserves to be saved, he has to, because he keeps telling himself that he deserved it as well, that his family was right about believing in him. Dean though, he never believed that. Dean, who sees himself as poison, who believes that everyone he cares about will suffer because of him. Sounds familiar? Because that is what Jack currently believes about himself (oh, the irony). And Dean’s accusation that Sam only pretends to care because he needs Jack for his powers (which Sam doesn’t deny) won’t help either. [I’ve already speculated about](http://nerdylittleshit.tumblr.com/post/166758458342/team-free-nougat) how this could be what will lead Jack away from the Winchesters, thinking they only need him for his powers (the same way Cas did).

And then of course we have yet again Sam making their loss about Mary first and foremost, and Dean making it about Cas. About how Jack brainwashed Cas, how his connection to Jack killed him, how all he can think about when he sees Jack is Cas and the pain of his loss. And how he can’t forget. Like,  they don’t even try to be subtle about it. They both lost two members of their family, but for Sam it is all about Mary (and the chance to get her back), whereas for Dean it is all about Cas. Cas, who is all the way dead.

Speaking of… welcome back Cas! Even though we don’t know for sure yet I’m pretty pretty pretty sure it is the Empty. It certainly looks like it. So how is Jack connected to it? Will his voice guide Cas out of it? Will Jack bring Cas back, as a way to try to redeem himself? We will see.

Some other things:

\- That shot of Dean drinking and listening to music… It was rather short and didn’t add anything to the plot, so the fact that they left it in feels significant. I still like to believe he listened to the mixtape, but obviously they can’t afford to use an actual Led Zep song.

\- Asmodeus was in Jack’s head. I feel like this might cause a problem in the future.

\- Ronson is my new fave.

\- The Wraith said the first psychic was an accident he picked up in a mental ward. The first time we saw a wraith? In 5x11, in a mental ward.  

\- I really liked the fighting scene where Dean overpowered and killed the wraith. I never pay much attention to them, so this says something.

\- Patience’s psychic powers/her vision was quite handy during the hunt, so I think we might see something similar in “Wayward Sisters”. Reminds me of Phoebe in Charmed actually.

And that’s it. Til’ next week!


	6. 13x03 Afterthoughts

**13x03 Afterthoughts**

Something I forgot to talk about in [my episode review](http://nerdylittleshit.tumblr.com/post/166862907462/thoughts-about-spn-13x03) but that I found rather interesting about the episode was how Sam and Dean grieve in such different ways. For Dean it is in a complete emotional way, for Sam it is the complete opposite. They both lost two members of their family, and even though Sam’s relationship to Cas was different than Dean’s he mourns him as well. Sam though it seems deals with this extreme difficult time in a logical, reasonable way. He distance himself from his emotions, he tries to look at the facts and tries to find a way to make things better. He reminds Dean that it was Mary’s own choice to go after Lucifer, and that through Jack they might get her back. He knows that it was Lucifer, not Jack, that killed Cas. And that whatever Jack did so far wasn’t out of malice, but mostly unconscious choices. He has no control over his powers yet and acts intuitive. Even the influence he had over Kelly and Cas as a fetus wasn’t an evil act, but survival instinct.

And this is how Sam acts, he looks at the facts, at cause and effect, and tries not to let his emotions control his judgement. It doesn’t mean that Sam acts complete selfless here. He hopes that with Jack’s help they can get their mother back. It is the only kind of hope he has left right now, and he puts all his focus on it, instead of dealing with his losses.

Dean on the other hand acts complete based on his emotions. He knows everything Sam knows, knows that it wasn’t Jack who killed Cas and (as he believes) his mother. But Dean can’t think rational when it comes to Jack. To him he is a constant reminder of the worst night of his life, of losing the two most important people in his life besides his brother. Jack is a reminder of everything the job and especially the circumstances of Jack’s birth has cost him. And in return he has to deal with a Nephilim now, something as he told Sam he didn’t sign up for. A potential very dangerous being, that all of heaven and hell is currently is after.

Dean is complete lost in his emotions, a prisoner of his grief. He doesn’t try to give Jack a chance, because his emotional investment doesn’t allow him to. He has no longer joy in his job, instead to him it is just a constant rerun of pain, horror and death. He is so tired of it all that Missouri’s death just feels to him like another day at the office, because everyone he once cared about will die, and there is nothing he can do about it.

I’ve seen some different reactions to both Sam and Dean’s way to deal with their losses, with a lack of understanding both characters, depending perhaps on your own view/experiences with loss. In my opinion though grief is something very personal, and something every person deals different with. I’ve seen in my life people react the same way as Sam, and the same way as Dean, and something in between. There is no right or wrong here though. And this is something I have also experienced, that people at times have very strict ideas about how to act while you mourn, the things you are supposed to do or to feel. But it is different to everyone, it is different for Sam and Dean, and it is the reason they are not on the same page. Between Sam’s distance and Dean’s intensity they can’t find a common ground.  


	7. Thoughts about Spn 13x04

**Thoughts about Spn 13x04**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

WELCOME BACK CAS YOU WILD… WILDFLOWER! Whatever! I’m wearing my bee socks to celebrate. Also, other stuff happened, that I enjoyed a lot. Let’s begin!

The focus on this week’s episode was of course on the loss and grief our boys (including Jack) experience ever since the season starts. Something 13x01 dealt with as well, and that has been the emotional groundwork of 13x02 and 13x03. I feel like that at least in the first half of the season these themes will continue to be important. It is possible that Jack found some closure this episode after he was able to say goodbye to his mother, who was his biggest loss, and that we will see the same kind of closure with Dean and Sam, once they are reunited with the person they miss the most (Dean with Cas, Sam with Mary). The second part of the season might mirror then this first part, where the brothers reflect their feelings and experiences of this time, and we see the emotional aftermath of the reunions.

Either way, this episode was in no way subtle with those themes. Others have mentioned this, especially [@neven-ebrez](https://tmblr.co/mRFCt_tNo_vLQW2MDxeT8zg),that ever since Dabb became showrunner, the themes that had been part of the subtext transformed into text. Topics meta writers had been writing about for years become part of the show’s actual text. The most obvious example was the conversation Dean had with Mary in 12x22 (how Dean was forced to become a parent when his mother died). This week it is Sam and his feelings regarding Mary, and the way both brothers dealt with their grief. After 13x03 this had been the main discussion, at least on my dash, and this week we have it spelled out by the brothers. I have seen different opinions about whether people like this new way of storytelling or not. Personally I don’t have a preference – I enjoyed Carver’s approach as much as I enjoy Dabb’s way now.

My personal highlight was the focus on both Jack and Sam as characters. Jack of course is still a very new character we don’t know much about. Sam though… people who know my blog know that my main focus here is usually on Dean. He is the character that I feel I understand the most, whereas Sam feels in some ways… underdeveloped as a character. (That is in no way Sam hate. In my opinion though the show has focused more on Dean, but I’m always glad when they, like in this episode, tell us more about Sam). I hope that some writers, like Glynn this week, will focus more on Sam in the future, so we get more inside into his character.

**The Big Sleep**

I have to admit that the parts with Cas in the Empty were my least favourite parts of the episode. Other that I can totally relate to the Empty, because man I know that feeling when you just want to sleep, I think I expected more from it? Kinda? Something that put me a bit off, to be honest, was Misha’s acting of the Empty, which reminded me of Lucifer!Cas, and was a bit too much.

It was interesting in terms of mythology. The Empty was the big threat lying over season 11, but then we never went there and season 12 kinda forget about it. It makes sense that Billy wanted to bring Sam and Dean here, the place where not even God had any power, and nothing could have brought them back (except you know some lil’ Nugget). We finally know now where dead angels and demons go (and I suspect monsters who died in purgatory). Cas asked if every angel who ever died was there too, and in this moment he probably thought of how many of these deaths he was responsible for. Given that we know that characters [like Miriam](https://twitter.com/carlenabritch/status/919613947564539905) and [Billy will return](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thetvaddict.com%2F2017%2F10%2F18%2Fthe-cw-teasers-a-reaper-returns-on-supernatural-girls-night-out-on-the-flash-and-more%2F&t=MDM4ZjE1NjM5MmMzMjQyMjNmNDg5YzU0ZTQ2Nzc4ZDA0YmZhN2MxMSxyUEdSTklNRQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F167103963737%2Fthoughts-about-spn-13x04&m=1) I wonder if the conversation between Cas and the Empty woke them up as well, or if the Empty accidently released more than one dead being (maybe some demons will return as well?).

Another aspect is what the Empty promises Cas, if he goes back to sleep: peace, no regrets, no pain. A world without pain you could say. Paradise. Which makes me wonder if that is what Jack saw in the future? Jack who of course couldn’t know that the place he saw was the Empty? And in return he gave Cas a false promise of hope.

Cas of course has his own catharsis in the Empty. He is confronted with his biggest failures and his “little feelings”, who he hates, who he loves, and what he fears. And it is no coincidence the Empty tells him that after Cas said Sam and Dean need him. Because his biggest fear? That it is not true, that they don’t need him after all. Which makes his statement at the end so much more important: that he is already saved. In the same season where Sam and Dean discussed if Jack is worth saying (who remains a huge Netflix loving Cas mirror), the question no longer applies to Cas. Cas no longer needs to be saved, Cas fights back, and Cas returns triumphantly in the end.  

**The Good Guys**

I found it quite interesting that Jack referred to Sam and Dean as “the good guys”, based on the facts that they kill monsters, because it sounds like some phrase he just learned without really understanding what “good” means. It is an idea to him, a very abstract one, the same as “bad”. He knows that lying is bad, but learns that in order to be the good guys Sam and Dean have to lie. He knows he is supposed to feel bad about the people he accidently hurt, but admits that he doesn’t feel anything. To me this displays that he is still very much a child, who has no deeper understanding of ethics and morality. But he is also half (arch) angel, a being who is made not to experience emotions. Sam and Dean might be great teachers for many things, but they view Jack from a very human perspective and Jack simply isn’t human. That is why Mia could relate to him in a way Sam couldn’t. That is why he needs Cas. Cas, the angel, who learned to experience his “little feelings”.

(Little digression on Jack watching “Clone Wars”. First of all he is probably the only person who watched that show without knowing that Anakin will turn dark side, and still he instantly disliked Anakin. He did like Ashoka though. Given that Ashoka is Anakin’s student it makes sense Jack sees himself more in her, and that his dislike for Anakin might refer to his dislike for Sam’s training methods. Ironically though [Jack himself is an Anakin mirror](http://margarittet.tumblr.com/post/162098006503/spn-season13-in-the-galaxy-not-so-far-away-aka). Also, I never watched “Clone Wars”, so don’t listen to what I say here.)

I also liked that Jack let Sam know he heard his argument with Dean from 13x03 right from the start, expressing his feeling that Sam only uses him for his powers. Stuff like this, secrets that would lead to conflict, have been a part of the show for a long time, but ever since season 12 those secrets don’t last long anymore. Mary told their sons about her working with the BMoL pretty fast, and so did Sam with Dean when he started working with them. We talked about truth and how it can set you free (regarding Dean telling the sheriff the truth in 13x01), and Jack and Sam being honest with each other here prevents their relationship to become toxic. Sam admits that he made a mistake, that he should have been honest in the first place, and he explains why it is so important for him that Jack can control his powers (without trying to pressure Jack). And Jack of course can relate. He would do anything, if it could bring him his mother back.

One of the examples of how subtext becomes text is how openly Sam and Dean talked about grieving this episode, something that has been the main focus of discussion after 13x03. They both accuse the other that they don’t grieve right – which is bullshit because [there is no right or wrong way to grieve](http://nerdylittleshit.tumblr.com/post/166945381804/nerdylittleshit-something-i-forgot-to-talk-about). Sam thinks that what Dean is doing is not healthy, that he is not processing his grief, and that he wants to move on when he is clearly not ready for it. Except that it is Sam who hasn’t start to process his grief yet, because as Dean said, he has not yet accepted his mother’s death. Mia might be right that Dean is angry, and that he is letting it out on everyone around him – but anger is a part of the grieving process.

At the end they both make a step in each other’s direction. Sam faces for the first time that Dean could be right, that Mary could be dead, and what it would mean for him. Because he openly admits why the thought of losing his mother again is so terrifying for him – because he never really got to know her and now he fears he might never get the chance to. They both started on a blank space in season 12, but Mary’s guilt over the deal she made and the consequences it had for Sam built up a barrier between them (tagging[@elizabethrobertajones](https://tmblr.co/mgG_5cqPDBqPGN1DslU_e6Q) because she wrote some excellent meta about the Mary-Sam-relationship in season 12). It is a pattern we have not only seen with Mary – throughout the show it is almost always Dean who bonds with other people, who is building friendships etc. They are Sam’s friends as well, but first they are Dean’s friends. And we see something similar with Jack – Sam is the one reaching out to him, supporting him, and yet he longs for Dean’s approval.

Speaking of parents, Dean again reminds Sam that he in no way thinks he has to be a parent to Jack, something he was forced to be for Sam. And even though Dean’s attitude towards Jack is questionable him stepping deliberately away from the parent role is a good thing. He started to step away from it in 12x22, when he admitted he was forced into it to Mary and how it was not fair, and later let Sam go to fight the BMoL. And for all that Dean doesn’t want to be Jack’s mum he becomes more and more like his father, acting like a drill sergeant. And even though Sam thinks it worked on Dean, we know it don’t. Dean became a good man despite of it, not because. Jack though resembles very much the “good son” who tries to impress his father, in this case Dean, making him more similar to other “good sons” like Dean himself, Michael and to some extent Cas (opposed to the rebellious sons Sam and Lucifer).

**Some other things**

\- I liked the twist on the monster of the week, a monster who tried to help people, to do something good to redeem herself, repeating Kelly’s message from last week: it doesn’t matter what you are, but what you do. Your choices are who define you.

\- I think this the third time Dean has been associated with shifters. In 1x06 the shifter became Dean, revealing his true feelings about Sam and their life together. In 10x06 Olivia, the shapeshifting maid, was a huge mirror for MoC!Dean. And this time we have yet another shifter who shifts into Dean, to metaphorically (and literary) rip his face off, to reveal yet again the truth.

Going to be now. Feel free to leave your dream Destiel reunion scenarios in my inbox. Til next week!


	8. Thoughts about Spn 13x05

**Thoughts about Spn 13x05**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

**Content Warning: mentions of suicide**

What an episode. There was a lot in it, a lot. Even though the case was rather simply, it was so full of layers over layers you might call it puff pastry. And as much as last week’s episode was about Sam and Jack, this week was all about Dean, from every angle. And as painful as it was to watch all of Dean’s despair the episode gave us one of the most beautiful, hopeful endings. Steve Yockey continues to be one of the currently best writers (I’m still amazed with all the talent to new writers brought to the show). So, let’s take a closer look.

**The Cure**

It was an unusual long teaser this week, but it did the job right, because even though I knew what was coming (or maybe because of it) I sat anxious in front of my screen. The actual ghost story was rather simple and something we saw quite similar back in 1x10. What is interesting about it is how both the victims and the ghost of the doctor inform Sam and Dean’s story. We start the story with two boys, thinking of them as a unit, only to learn later about a third friend, and that the three of them were inseparable. They split up and in the end two of them died. Parallel to that we start the episode with two Winchesters and end it with three. The last time the three of them weren’t on the same page one of them ended up dead.

Dean is mirrored with Shawn. After the traumatic event of seeing his best friend die Shawn became mute, the same way Dean was mute after his mother died (and Lucas in 1x03 who was back then a Dean mirror as well). Shawn tells Dean in the veil that he misses his mom and he wants to go home. Dean of course longs for a home as well and misses his mother. Dean lost his mother and Shawn’s mother loses her son – two parents and children separated by death.

The most interesting parallel though is the fact that Dr. Meadows tried to cure his patients by performing a lobotomy. He did it to treat mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety. Not only did it result in the death of many patients, but it is also the wrong treatment by modern medicine standard. And even though Sam of course doesn’t try to lobotomize his brother, his cure/treatment for Dean is wrong as well. This episode is a great example of how Sam sees/reads his brother, or rather the performance Dean puts on, and the layer underneath. Sam is aware that Dean is not ok, that the fact that he no longer believes in anything is a warning sign, and his intentions might be good (reading reviews for a strip-club, my heart), but the ways he tries to cheer up are as effective as trying to fix a missing limb with a band aid. He only sees the tip of the iceberg, but the fact that Dean so casually killed himself might have given him an idea how bad it really is for Dean.

**The Wounded Hunter**

Oh Dean. Dean, Dean, Dean. Partly responsible for Sam’s blindness when it comes to his big brother is of course Dean’s willingness to participate in the performance. He tells Sam that he will be ok, that he will get through, with “bullets, bacon, booze” (interestingly no women), and we can’t blame Sam that he wants to believe that. Especially as Dean actually goes to the strip-club, though it appears only to get drunk. But we see how deep Dean is buried in his grief the moment they start to work the case at the abandoned hospital. He seems almost apathetic when the doctor attacks him, as if he is willing to risk it (dying). The most heartbreaking moment is though he calm he was when he talked about killing himself in front of Sam. It is the third time Dean killed himself in order to get to the veil. In 6x11 he did it because it was the only way to talk to Death and get Sam’s soul back. In 11x17 we see how messed up he really is, demonstrating the whole ugly truth about his co-dependent relationship to Sam. But here? It is just a means to an end, another hunter-tool. Dean is fully aware of the risk and even then it seems like part of him wants to die. Of course there is difference between actively wanting to die (because Dean’s goal is to talk to the ghosts) and choosing death, which he later does in his conversation with Billie.

We already talked about the absence of deals in this season (even though Dean asked Chuck for help), which in general is a good thing and progress. We see this theme continued here, with Dean offering a deal, but he neither asks for his own life or for Billie to bring back Cas and/or Mary, but only the ghosts of the victims to be freed (though technically Dean knows that Billie doesn’t have the power to bring back Cas). On the surface it looks like an altruistic act, but Billie sees right through Dean’s act.

> _**Billie:** […] You have changed, and you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it, but you know you won’t, you can’t, and that scares the hell out of you or am I wrong?_
> 
> _**Dean:** What do you want me to say? It doesn’t matter, I don’t matter._
> 
> _**Billie:** Don’t you?_
> 
> _**Dean:** I couldn’t save Mom. I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps trying to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down. So I’m not gonna beg, okay. If it’s my time, it’s my time._
> 
> _**Billie:** You really believe that. You wanna die. Dean, every notebook on this particular shelf tells a version of how you die. You specifically. Heart attack, burned by a red-haired witch, stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard, and on and on. But which one’s right? That depends on you. On the choices you make._
> 
> _**Dean:** Well I guess I made my choice._

This huge pile of angst is so revealing when it comes down to how Dean’s purpose in life has changed. He defined himself over his job, both hunting and protecting his brother. But what is the purpose of a hunter if he no longer can save the people closest to him, the people he loves? If he can’t even save strangers? If he only seems himself as a burden to his brother, as someone whose actions no longer have any value?

Both Sam and Dean make a small step in the right direction in the end, with Sam refusing to let go and forcing Dean to talk, instead of trying to be nice, and with Dean opening up. Dean who admits that he is not ok, that even though he has lost people before (John, Bobby), this time it is different. He needs a win, and it is no coincidence that he echoes Cas’s words from 12x19 here. Cas’s desperation for a win has led him to make all the wrong choices (releasing Lucifer, betraying the Winchesters etc) and got him killed in the end.

The last two or so minutes of the episode were a thing of beauty. The music choice was great (Steppenwolf’s “It’s never too late”) and even though we all expected the “Hello Dean” I really liked that they choose the show the return of Cas without words. Kudos to Jensen and Misha, and John F. Showalter, for acting and directing the scene the way they did. (And did you all notice that giant neon cross in the scene? They couldn’t have made it clearer that Dean has found his faith again.)

**Death Becomes Her**

Remember all that speculation if Billie is the new Death? Guess what, you were right guys. Well, somehow. But as much as I am delighted that Billie is back (as the big boss) I have two questions: Does that mean that in the time between 10x23 and 12x09 there was no Death? Who was in charge? And did Billie got herself killed on purpose knowing that she would get a promotion? (Ok, three questions). Because making deals with the Winchesters is a fool proof way to get yourself killed. She also says that killing her is what got Cas killed (in a way), confirming that the cosmic consequences of breaking the deal were indeed Cas’s death and possibly the opening to the alternative universe.

Speaking of, I wonder why Billie is interested in the multiple worlds (and if she perhaps has her own agenda regarding Jack). My only speculation is that opening the rift between the worlds could cause cosmic imbalance. If people (especially those who are dead in one world and alive in another) travel through the worlds it will cause chaos. We already saw that with Mary, who wasn’t supposed to be alive, and the ripple effect her actions caused.

I found it rather amusing that Billie had her table in her huge office right in front of the “W” section (though I admit I thought the Winchesters would have a whole shelf for themselves by now). The fact that multiple notebooks exist with all kind of possible deaths for Dean (and Sam as well) confirms that the future isn’t set in stone (something Missouri already told us and is in stark contrast to the idea of Jack seeing the future in 12x19). (Also, a red haired witch? Rowena?)

With her new job Billie sees the bigger picture and knows now why the old Death has brought back Sam and Dean so many times. She tells Dean that he and Sam are important, that they got work to do, without telling them exactly why. Just as Chuck Billie puts a massive amount of responsibility into the hands of Sam and Dean, something that at least Dean has admitted he has no interest in. It is possible this is related to Jack, as I can imagine that he will play a bigger role on a cosmic scale in the future (he could be the one to bring balance).

**Some other things:**

\- The PB&J. Remember how we all speculated who would be the one Dean is making it for (Jack or Cas)? And none of us considered that Dean would make it for himself. Interestingly enough the PB&J is tied to both Mary and Cas. Mary is the one who used to make sandwiches for Dean; the PB&J is a childhood memory and comfort food. On the other hand though we all associate PB&J with Cas since 9x11, and in hindsight we could say the PB&J foreshadowed Cas’s return. (I’m sure there is crack meta already out there, explaining how it was the PB&J that brought Cas back and that [@elizabethrobertajones](https://tmblr.co/mgG_5cqPDBqPGN1DslU_e6Q) has written already 10.000 words about it <3)

\- Jack digging through Sam’s old DVD’s, becoming a full time nerd. (Please let the two of them make awkward references soon).

\- Dean living out his cowboy fantasy with his boyfriend next week. (It is the cowboy boots that make him sexy)


	9. Thoughts about Spn 13x06

**Thoughts about Spn 13x06**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Yee-haw! So, did we get the promised Brokebacknatural? Cowboys? Check. Super gay? Double check.

Once again we got an episode, and I know I keep repeating myself here, that left no room for subtext. Everything was spelled out in neon letters. Which is weird, from a meta perspective. We are so used to look out for the subtext, and codes and hidden messages, and again it feels like the subtext just became plain text. And again, I don’t feel like this makes the episode better or worse, just different, and of course it leads to the overall question: WHY? And to me it feels like, or at least makes sense, like we are heading to the finish line here. I’m not saying the current season is the last, but maybe the next one. From a writer’s point it would make sense then to address themes that have been part of the subtext for a long time, and the only way to resolve them is to put them in the actual text of the show. (And yes, before you ask: Destiel. All the Destiel.)

Overall I liked the episode a lot. The actual case was kinda… there, they could have made more with it, I dunno. But I loved the Western theme and of course it was a big character episode. I think this week the focus was on Jack, and his relationship with Cas. We had a lot of great Dean moments as well, which brought the episode a light and fun atmosphere, and worked especially in contrast to last weeks episode, to make a big statement what or rather who made Dean so happy. The characters and their relationships were the selling point of the episode.

Let’s have a closer look.

**Jack vs Evil Dead**

There was a lot of Jack in the episode, and in the beginning he seemed to be in a relative happy place. He is obviously still trying to find out who he is, but it seems like hunting gave him some purpose, at least for a moment. We learned in 13x04 that he still thinks in terms of “good” and “bad” and that, through the influence of Sam and Dean, hunters are to him the good guys. They kill monsters and help the innocent.

Jack trying to be a hunter was of course meant to remind us of all the times Cas tried to act like a hunter. They both even use the same approach by watching what Sam and Dean do and try to copy it. Though I have to admit, with all my love for Cas, I think Jack has got the hang of it a bit faster. He found them a case, he found footage of zombie!Dave and identified him as Athena’s boyfriend. Top of his class, indeed.

I loved the relationship/interactions between Cas and Jack. I always like it when they add new characters to the team, to see new dynamics, not just Cas and Jack, but of course also the birth of team free will 2.0. Cas and Jack do balance out Sam and Dean in a way; they are both not human and outsiders of their own. And similar to last season where Cas could teach Mary about her sons now we have him teaching Jack how to handle a Winchester properly.

I’m not sure the show is ever going to address the “Did Jack brainwash Kelly and Cas?”-issue more than they did now. Jack confirms that he trusted Cas because his mother trusted him, that Cas made him feel safe and the fact that Cas is surprised Jack remembered that implies they talked about the events in 12x19. I have a feeling Dean won’t bring up the issue again – whatever Jack did with bringing back Cas he is forgiven. I’m not sure of either Cas or Jack were aware of the brainwashing. Every episode so far has shown us that until lately Jack had no control over his powers. Choosing Cas as his protector probably did happen unconscious, based on the feelings of his mother, who had become one with him at some point (probably when he resurrected her).

Cas supports Jack and believes in him, and I think he fulfils a role here neither Sam and Dean could. He is the one Jack chose as his father, as his mentor, he is the one who was supposed to be there for him. I don’t believe Jack still controls Cas in some ways, but rather that the affection is genuine. Cas repeats what Kelly told her son – that he is meant to do great things and that he has the power to make the world a better place. This very thing though puts a lot of responsibility on Jack. It is clear that he wants to do good, that he wants to prove to others and himself that he is not a monster, but it backfires horrible. It is clear that killing the security guard was a horrible accident, and Cas, Sam and Dean reassure him that in their line of work things like that keep on happening, but that it doesn’t mean he is bad, or that he should stop trying to do better. Each of them has done horrible things in the past, because the world is more complex than “good” and “bad”. It is part of being human, and we talk so much about Jack’s powers that we forget at times that he is half human too.

Especially in that aspect I think Jack mirrors Dean a lot. There is an early parallel when Jack tells Cas how much he missed him, how he begged for his return, or basically when he tells Cas everything Dean couldn’t. The Jack we see at the end of the episode, the one who decides to leave because he is afraid he is going to hurt his found family, is the one who reminded a lot of Dean in 9x10, who decided to leave because he thought of himself as “poison”. Dean is still the one who is the most honest with Jack – when he asks if the security guard had a family only Dean gives him a direct answer. Dean is the one who never tried to sugarcoat what he thought of Jack, but he is also the one who admits here that he was wrong about Jack. We saw a first small step in that direction at the end of 13x04, after Jack saved Sam, but it is clear that the turning point is Jack bringing Cas back.

Also, Jack refers to Cas, Sam and Dean as “all he has”. This and that he asked about the family of the man he killed shows how important family and family ties are to him, and that he thinks in categories of family the way we know Dean does as well. It wouldn’t surprise me if we end the season with Jack addressing the Winchesters (including Cas of course) as his family.

Something else I found interesting are Jack’s powers. By now he can control them in some ways. It is clear it is a learning process. What I am curious about though is what specifically are Jack’s powers. We know that one day he will be more powerful than his father. We know he has some angelic powers – he can teleport, bullets and knifes don’t hurt him etc. Unlike angels though you can’t banish him. He sleeps, even if he doesn’t sleep as much as humans. He eats and he seems to enjoy food. It is a mix between angelic powers and human needs. Then again he asked Cas to heal the security guard, even though we know that Jack can technically heal people, after all he saved his mother in 12x19, so we might see him exploring more powers in the future.

The most interesting part though is his power to open portals to other worlds, and the fact that he had the power to reach Cas in the Empty, a place where even God had no power. This made me wonder if the Empty perhaps exists outside of reality? And God’s powers only have access in places in our reality – earth, heaven, hell, purgatory, the veil. Could it be that every universe/reality has their own God? If there are different versions of the archangels, why not God? We know that Lucifer from our universe still has his powers in the AU world. But what if there is only one Empty, existing outside of all those realities? And only Jack, Death and the reapers have access to it? Does that make Jack more powerful than God?

**Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly Fond of Each Other**

( _What did you think all them saddles and boots was about?_ )

So, after Dean said “I do” under a giant neon cross, I think it is fair to say that travelling to Doge City and dressing up as cowboys was Dean and Cas’s honeymoon?

I’m still in awe and wonder how obvious all the Destiel stuff was. Not just in this episode, during the whole season so far. It is the main topic with all my meta peeps here, because we still can’t believe that after years of digging deep through the subtext the show is now so blatant about Destiel. After 13x05 everyone and their mother said that Cas was presented as the win Dean so desperately needed, and now he textually confirms it, calling Cas even a “pretty big win”. Dean’s whole attitude and behaviour has changed, in the way that 13x05 and 13x06 almost work as a pair to show is exactly what the main difference is between the two episodes and Dean’s emotional state. I mean their mom is still trapped and Jack is still a potential danger, and this episode marks the first time he killed someone, even if it was only an accident. We expected to hear the “I told you”-speech from Dean, instead he is reaching out to Jack and takes care of his mess. Why? Because of Cas. Because Jack brought back Cas, and for the first time Dean can acknowledge the effort Jack applied.

It was in character that we didn’t get a great speech of Dean talking about his feelings (like I said, Jack already expressed what Dean felt). We are not at the point of the story yet where Dean is ready to use his words, though sooner or later he has to. Instead we got the car scene and the usual bickering between Cas and Dean, and it is only then that Dean admits how happy he is that Cas is back. It was very lighthearted and sweet and it again confirmed that Dean and Cas have a relationship off-screen (the movie Dean made Cas watch, the fact that Cas knows that Dean is an angry sleeper etc). Also, my new headcanon is that Metatron didn’t like Western movies, so they weren’t part of all the popculture knowledge he gave Cas. Dean might missed his chance to introduce Cas to Star Wars, but he will do his best to show Cas his favourite Western movies. All of them.

**Wild Wild Dead**

The case of the week was rather simple. There was a recurring theme of “things that look like other things”. In 13x02 we had with Asmodeus a shapeshifting demon, in 13x03 we had a wraith who looks human and 13x04 featured two actual shapeshifters and an ancient cosmic entity that took the form of our favourite angel. And we started this episode with Dean asking Cas if it is really him. It doesn’t take a big step to figure out that identity will be a big theme this season. Jack of course still struggles with his own, trying to find out who he is. And then of course we have the AU world or maybe even worlds, with a potential infinite amount of doppelgängers of characters we know.

We also have two characters coming back from the dead – Cas literary, and the ghoul who impersonates someone who died a long time ago. Both lose the one they wanted to protect – Cas loses Jack, Dave loses Athena. I’m not sure if this parallel was on purpose because Dave and Athena’s relationship wasn’t anything like the one between Jack and Cas. The first one was romantic and quite unhealthy, the second a parent-child-relationship, based on support. I also wonder if Athena was aware that her boyfriend was a ghoul? She seemed to know about the grave robberies and I thought for a moment she provided him with food, but she was surprised to find out he wasn’t exactly human, so.

Another character that was somehow paralleled/ associated with Dean was the Sergeant. The officer who was killed was his nephew; not his actual so, but still someone very close to him. Getting revenge for him was family business, to make it even more obvious. And he stated twice that he would kill the one responsible for his nephew’s death. And that is somehow problematic. I think it was perhaps part of the Western theme to show people who take the law in their own hands, with blazing guns and only one of them surviving. Still he was an officer of the law, and unlike Dean and the others he didn’t know at first that a monster was responsible for his nephew’s death. The show morally justified that hunters can kill monsters, if they have killed, because there is no monster prison. But there is no justification for humans to kill other humans, especially not officers of the law who should know better. The first monstrous humans though on the show have all been killed by officers of the law though (Pa Bender by Deputy Kathleen Hudak in 1x15 and Pete Sheridan by Detective Diana Ballard in 2x07). Sergeant Phillips is portrayed as a hero by the narrative, that he kills the monster in the end feels justified, but it shouldn’t.

Dean seemed also very calm when the ghoul aimed his gun at his head. Perhaps because he knew that Billie would bring him back, because he is important? Interesting though “stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard” was one of Dean’s potential deaths (I wonder if we will also get to see almost burned by a red haired witch and almost died by a heart-attack). After the ghoul is dead Dean takes care of Jack’s mess and is back to his usual “we were never here and we lie about what we do”-attitude. In contrast to 13x01 where he openly told the Sheriff that he is a hunter, because he no longer cared about anything. Now that Cas is back he does.

**Some other things:**

\- Did nobody in town recognize Dave Mather? Did they all think it was just a great coincidence the undertaker’s new boyfriend looked exactly like the old west dude?

\- Speaking of, why is nobody ever suspicious about their aliases? Texas ranger Val Kilmer? Seriously?

\- Nina Lopez-Corrado, the director of the episode, smuggled herself in the episode twice: with Athena’s last name (Lopez) and again with the giant “Lopez” on top of the mausoleum in the graveyard.

\- Does Sam like Amanda Palmer? He seemed interested. Adding this to my (very short) list of music Sam likes.

\- The episode had great soundtrack choices.

\- I’m still worried about Jack though. I hope he packed some lunch.

Until next week <3


	10. Thoughts about Spn 13x07

**Thoughts about Spn 13x07**

**POILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

**Also: Wank. It’s cool if you liked the episode or don’t want to read any negative reviews. Just stop reading right here.**

This was… an episode. Though I’m still not sure of what show because clearly it wasn’t the same I watched last week. I admit it was weirdly entertaining in the way bad movies are, or bad fan fic, because this is certainly how this episode felt, like a wild mix of “what if though” and yet another plot twist. Which might even be fun if this would be for another show but sadly it isn’t. I think it was [@k-vichan](https://tmblr.co/m4FImMInGlX_QoCekzgv66w) who praised how this season all the writers, new and old ones, seamlessly work together, pick up each other’s themes and create a coherent storytelling. And then you have Bucklemming, and by now I feel like they write for their own shown, their own version of “Supernatural”, that has little to nothing to do with the rest of the show. But as much as they ignore existing canon and are the masters in referring to almost exclusive their own episodes, I’m afraid the other writers have to pick up some of their weird story choices and have to work with the mess they created here. And while I can ignore most of it there are some tendencies that make me worry.

**Lucifer**

My problem with Lucifer is a general problem, not only this episode. I found the character interesting in season 5 and Hallucifer in season 7 was okay as well (from a storytelling point) but ever since they brought the character back in season 11 I wish they really really hadn’t. He constantly acts like an overgrown child throwing a tantrum, who justifies all of his cruelty with the fact that his daddy didn’t love him enough. Since the actor who played him also became Satan in real life I wish we would just get rid of his character, once for all. What we got though in this episode almost looked like the beginning of a goddamn redemption arc. There is a guy who is even worse than him (Michael)? Check. He loses his powers, so he is no longer a threat? Check. He tries to bond with characters we actually care about (Kevin, Cas)? Check. He saves the very same angel he just killed last time he saw him? Check. He wants to work with the good guys because he wants to save the world? Check. He gets tortured and imprisoned, the very thing he is afraid of the most? (Trying to make us feel pity for him?) Check.

And look, I wasn’t even a huge friend of Crowley’s redemption arc, because Crowley had done horrible things, just because he could, and no summer of love could erase that. Lucifer though is on a complete other level. He is a rapist and a sadist. He doesn’t want to save our world because he cares about it, yet alone the people who live in it, but because he knows that any world in which Michael rules he will be a dead man.

Cas for now doesn’t buy his bullshit, and neither will Sam and Dean, and we will see how Jack reacts to him (does he know that Lucifer killed Cas?). They worked with Lucifer before to defeat Amara, so I think it is possible they might do it again. Still, I would feel very uncomfortable if they try to redeem this character.

**Hello again**

We saw the comeback of two characters who are supposed to be dead (one technically still is in our world) and a hint that we might see another one coming back. As for Kevin, there is not much to say. We knew that with the introduction of alternative universe we would get the chance to bring back some characters that already died in our world, like Bobby. The fact that Kevin would work for Michael made sense, same with Michael’s plan to escape his world (honestly, who wouldn’t). The fact that Kevin’s motivation is to see hot women demonstrates once again that Bucklemming have no real understanding of the characters they write, especially does that they killed off. Mostly though AU!Kevin seemed to be quite similar to our Kevin: a kid with two much responsibility on his shoulders, trapped in the powerplay between heaven and hell. I hope though they bring him back again and use his character better next time.

Which brings us to Ketch. I have to admit, given this is still a Bucklemming episode, the possibility of an evil twin wasn’t that unrealistic. But in the end Dean’s instinct is (almost) always right and even Sam and Dean admitted how ridiculous the story sounded. While I found Ketch interesting as a character in season 12 I had no real desire to see him return. I’m not sure if his remorse was yet another act or if we get another redemption arc. (What is it with this show to bring back horrible character in order to redeem them instead of characters we actually care about? Where is my Charlie? Where is my Eileen?) He seemed to be real about the burdens of his old job, and even back then Ketch always acted more like a hunter than all the other Men of Letters. He also described himself as a soldier and tried to bond with Dean over this. Which was actually kind of interesting, as Dean did start the series as a soldier, ready to fulfil any order his dad would have given him. But since then Dean has come a long way, where he learned to think for himself, to make his own choices and to take over responsibility over said choices. He is nothing like Ketch.

So, will we see Rowena again? It seemed like Ketch might had more information about her than he admitted. He seemed to be convinced that she is still alive, reminding us that she came back from the dead once already. At least we got another bit about the BMoL’s connection to witches and perhaps even the Grand Coven. This was something I had hoped to learn more about in season 12, so maybe now?

**Some other things**

\- It seems like there are other options to open a portal to another world than using a Nephilim. It is possible Lucifer remembers the ingredients/spell to open a portal, as the angel tablet is destroyed in our world. What about the grace of an archangel though? Lucifer is already weak, Raphael and Gabriel dead (well, one of them definitely), so will they use our Michael? Or perhaps Jack’s grace (which already opened the rift in the first place)? Will this weaken Jack as much as it weakened Lucifer? Then again, the lore says Jack will be more powerful than his father. Will Jack offer to give his grace, to fix his mistakes? And what about the fact that a portal opened by the spell can only transport one person at a time? Will they get Mary back but leave behind somebody else?

\- Also, is there a God in the other world? Kevin said there is no God, but perhaps he just left the same way Chuck did. Or is there only one God for all worlds? How many are there? During the episode it seemed like they were only two.

\- Cas said he swore to protect Jack, which should have alert a huge alarm for Dean. Because Cas only did that after Jack influenced him. Whatever responsibility Cas feels for Jack, Dean should have mentioned that it wasn’t Cas’s full choice to protect Jack.

\- We finally learned where the little angels are coming from. I speculated before that Jack could potentially replace Chuck and the angels thinking he could be powerful enough to create new angels kind of goes in that direction. At least they no longer want to kill him.

\- Asmodeus referring to Jack as “The Jack” might be the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever said on this show.

Looking forward to next week.  


	11. Thoughts about Spn 13x08

**Thoughts about Spn 13x08**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Overall this was a solid episode, that had some fun moments, but in the end it felt to me that if you skipped it you didn’t miss out much. There was no real development to the plot (we are as close to find Jack as we were last week), from all the new characters introduced only one survived (though it is likely we will see her again) and there was little to no character development. As for the actual heist theme I was expecting a bit more; the heist was too simple and they could have done more with it. Maybe in hindsight the episode and its themes will become more important as the season continues, but right now it just feels like an average filler episode (not a bad episode though).

**The new recruits**

I think it was no coincidence that both Barthamus and “Smash”/Alice were supposed to remind us of two other characters: Crowley and Charlie. With Bart it is uber obvious as he even says that after Crowley became the king of hell he became the new Crowley aka the King of the Crossroad demons. Crowley remained a crossroad demon in many ways even after he became king; he continued to work with the Winchesters because they were useful to him, because this way they owed him. He was making deals still and he was a master in doing his homework, which is why he never underestimated the Winchesters. Bart is similar in that way; he has done his research on the Winchesters and knows what they are capable of. He made them an offer they couldn’t refuse, because even if they did, they risked he would have given the spell to Asmodeus. (Though unknown to them I think that was unlikely, as Bart seemed to plot against Asmodeus in the same way Crowley worked against Lucifer)

There is a difference though between Crowley and Bart. Yes, Crowley was a businessman, but he was always earnest about his business. He never collected souls before their time and if you made a deal with him he would always keep his side of the bargain. We can only speculate about this but I think Crowley wouldn’t have let Luther’s son die. It is implied that Bart did kill the son, though it is also possible the deal was only about curing the child and didn’t include preventing him to die from other causes. Either way it is cruel and the kind of business Crowley wouldn’t have approved off.

I’m glad that Bart died in the end. His only function would have been to replace Crowley as the demon who would occasionally help out the Winchesters; it would have cheapen the memory of Crowley. Instead though Bart’s presence highlighted the negative space Crowley’s loss leaves. It was clear that Sam and Dean wouldn’t mourn Crowley in the same way they did with Cas and Mary, but this episode in a way paid a tribute to him nevertheless.

And then there is Alice, who reminded me a lot of Charlie. Both young woman who are on the run, who introduce themselves with fake names and insist that they can take care of themselves, and wo are specialist in illegal activities (safe-cracking and hacking are oddly familiar; both give you access to something others tried to lock away). Both bond easily with Dean about ‘weird’ stuff, both end up on the bus stop after the Winchesters saved them, and even though Dean didn’t say it this time, Alice gave off a “little sister that I never wanted”-vibe as well. And of course the “Sorry, Charlie”-line, which I think was a weirdly specific reference? I had to look it up, but then again I’m not American, but it felt like someone really wanted to drop the name “Charlie” into the episode.

Which makes me think: Could it be that Alice is Charlie? Don’t ask me how that would work or why she didn’t reveal herself to the Winchesters, it is just a thought I wanted to write out. This a season that brings back characters that are supposed to be dead (Cas, Ketch, pretty sure Rowena as well), or different versions of them (Michael, Kevin). And also the recurring theme of things that look like other things (Asmodeus, shapeshifters, wraiths, ghouls). Speaking of, I think Luther kind of filled this role as well: he was introduced as a villain (a sadist and murderer) but turned out to be a victim all along. Still, what is the deal with Alice? She was set up in a way that they could bring her back (she owes the Winchesters their life and has a very specific set of skills) and we still hardly know anything about her (why did she make a deal for example). Maybe she was only introduced to give us a similar character to Charlie, but I admit I would have rather have the old Charlie back.

**The Harry Potter of it all**

Seems like Meredith Glynn is a Potterhead after all. Her first episode, 13x05, revolved around a horcrux like pocket watch and this week’s episode is full of Harry Potter references. First there was the fang of a basilisk, who of course played a big role in “The Chamber of Secrets” (I wonder though if it was a test by Luther to see if Sam would spot the difference or if Luther just didn’t know what he was buying). The Chamber of Secrets of course could only be open by the true heir of Slytherin and if you were able to speak Parseltongue. The vault could only be open with the blood of a man who had been to hell and back (and did everyone just forget that Sam had been in hell as well?). Luther couldn’t die as long as he was on his property. Harry was safe as long as was in Privet Drive (and as long as he could still call it his home). And who of course was introduced to us as a huge Harry Potter fan? Charlie again.

There were of course also some Indiana Jones references and some pure comedy gold with the whole vault sequence (and Alice asking herself if this guy really had been to hell) and Luther on a wheelchair. This is perhaps the reason why it felt to me not like a heist movie but rather an adventure film.

**Some other things**

\- “After Crowley, I told myself, no more demons.”  This did sound like the kind of thing you say after a messy break up, right? When you swear you never date guys like this again.

\- Dean calling Alice out on her shoes, saying “Hey Winona, the 90s called, they’d like their shoes back.” Like first of all, if you want to give someone fashion advice Dean, start with your brother and his fugly jacket. Second, this was oddly specific? Recognizing her boots as the kind of boots Winona Ryder wore in the 90s… like sure enough, Dean was a teenager in the 90s and was perhaps crushing on Winona, but it reminded me off fashion experts saying “the little black dress actress xy wore at the Academy Awards 1994”. It is the kind of detail you remember because you are interested in it. We know that Den is the more fashionable brother, but it makes me wonder how Dean would dress if he hadn’t grow up with a job/in a macho culture that taught him clothes have to practical, nothing more.

Overall an entertaining episode, which made me curious about Alice. Exited about next week’s midseason finale/ Wayward Sisters. Also, I am painfully behind on my dash, so it might take some time until I catch up with everyone else’s thoughts.


	12. Thoughts about Spn 13x09

**Thoughts about Spn 13x09**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

**Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide, self harm and depression**

Soooooooooooooooooo… That was an episode with a lot of good moments, and a lot to think about. Seeing that this is the first part of a two-part episode I’m not sure I can give a final rating. It was a  great episode on its own, but worked also as a set up for a new character, a new world and hopefully a spin-off, so I think we have to see how 13x10 will finish the story. But, as Bobo is the writer of both this and the next episode, I am very confident. It is really interesting to see each of the character that will be part of “Wayward Sisters” and their relationship to the supernatural, but also to the Winchesters. But first of all, let’s have a closer look to this episode.

**Dream Girl**

First of all, I liked Kaia. A lot. She fit perfectly into the theme of things that look like other things. When we first met her at the rehab centre we learned that she recently overdosed and she has huge scars on her writs. On the surface it looks like she tried to end her life, multiple times, and given her life story we can see why. But if you look deeper you learn that she only takes drugs because they keep her awake, because in her dreams she visits the “bad place”. And it also there where she got her scars from. And of course, as we later learn, her “bad place” isn’t the same Sam, Dean and Jack think of. If you only look on the facts, if you only know half of the story, because you leave out the world of the supernatural (either because you don’t know about it or don’t believe in it) you only get half of the story, which doesn’t resemble the truth. But I also like how Kaia’s character and her story might connect with people who do suffer from depression. Kaia’s “bad place” might be a literary place and her scars are visible, but she stands in for our own personal bad places and the scars not everyone can see.

One of the characters I am really excited for Kaia to interact with is Claire. I think the two of them might easily bond because it is clear they have a lot in common. They are both orphans, they both probably had their experience with foster families, we both first met them in some sort of reformatories. Both are strongheaded and take nobody’s shit. Kaia’s belief that nobody would come for her/care about her when the angels kidnapped her is something Claire would have believed a couple of years ago as well. (The irony of course is that Claire, even though she is not rich, is very blonde and very white). And they both had rather unpleasant experiences with the Winchesters when they first met them.

Claire first lost her father to Cas and later had to witness how Dean killed Randy. She saw Dean in his worst state and thought of him as a monster. Kaia was held at gunpoint to do what Dean wanted her to. (And yes, they saved her life, but she doesn’t owe them anything) It is a great contrast to Alice/Smash last week, who was also convinced that nobody looked out for her apart from herself, and yet the Winchesters saved her, and prioritized her life over the spell they wanted. They became her heroes. But that is not the impression Kaia got of them and Jack (though I wonder what Jack showed her in his five seconds).

It is going to be interesting to see all these teenage girls (and adult women) interact with each other, each of them with different experiences towards the supernatural and Sam and Dean. Kaia and Patience will need to learn to control their powers (which is also an obvious parallel to Jack) and I wonder if we are going to see another psychic and dreamwalker to teach them. Especially Patience is going to be an interesting character, because she is not wayward, not in the way Claire, Alex and Kaia are/were. Patience has a home, a loving father, and a bright future ahead of her. Which reminds me a lot of Kevin, but unlike him who always thought of the supernatural as a burden she chooses this life. What her father said – “ _You go now, you choose that life, you don’t come back_ ” – is also a parallel to John, who told Sam he can’t come back if he chose Stanford (the same life Patience gives up for now). The difference of course is that Patience is still welcome home, but her father knows that she won’t come back. If anything I feel like this will be a source of conflict, Patience giving up her stable life, when girls like Alex, Claire and Kaia always dreamed to have this.

**Cocaine boy**

I’m sad we already dubbed Jack as Nougat Winchester (well Lizzy did, we just follow her lead) because cocaine boy would have worked great as well. (Seriously though, cocaine? Did he binge watched _Narcos_ or what?) Also, things that look like other things, part two. Sam and Dean think he killed Derek (accident or not) and that he is looking for Lucifer. The reality though is that Jack appalled that Sam and Dean could even think he did killed someone (on purpose) and that he is looking for their mom, not his father. And look, we all got fluffy feelings when he called Sam, Dean and Cas his family, when he said he said his home is here on earth with them, when he identifies himself with these two humans and the one angel heaven no longer sees as one rather than the actual angels and heaven.  I get, I’ve been there. But we need to talk about Jack.

Because Jack’s aggressive behaviour towards Kaia? Not ok. As Dean said, good thing she hit him. And this is probably the reason some people believe Jack has controlled/influenced Dean, because him forcing Kaia with his gun in the car resembles this first encounter. I get where people see the similarities, and I’m not saying it can’t be true. But I admit it was not my first thought when I watched the episode, but something I briefly saw on my dash this morning. I’ve seen people admitting that Dean acted OOC to them in that scene, which is why they believe Jack controlled him. But even though I wanted to hit Dean very hard in that moment I don’t think it is entirely out of character. I do believe it is something Dean is capable of doing, if he is desperate enough, and I think he was. He blames himself for Mary’s current situation because he didn’t look for her, so now he tries everything to fix it. I don’t think Dean would have actually hurt Kaia, but what he did is still very much not okay, and I wonder how it might influence Jack, who looks up to Dean. Does Jack believe that what Dean did was right? That sometimes the end justifies the means? (Which has always been more Sam’s way of thinking than Dean’s)  

I still wonder though what Jack thinks of Lucifer. Here he said he means nothing to him. In 13x02 though we saw how he remembered how Lucifer reached out to him and he seemed to be afraid. We know that Jack’s trust in Cas is based on Kelly’s trust in Cas. So did Kelly’s fear of Lucifer influenced Jack to be afraid of him as well? So far Jack has learned that everyone who is afraid of him based his fear on the fact that he is Lucifer’s son. Lucifer represents everything bad to him, so I am really curious about their first meeting.

We end the episode with Jack meeting Mary, which already gives me a lot of feels (the kid clearly has enough dads, it is time for a mom). And Sam and Dean in Jurrasic Park. This is a thing now (I need all the memes).

**Some other things**

\- The whole episode had a cinematic feeling to it. The whole boat scene was beautifully shot (I guess they like ships).

\- This is the second time we are told that angels can recreate on their own. Unlike humans or demons and even a lot of monsters. I wonder if this flaw in their design was on purpose.

This episode left us with a lot to discuss during the winter hiatus and I’m looking forward to read all your thoughts =)


	13. Thoughts about Supernatural 13x10

**Thoughts about Supernatural 13x10**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

I didn’t like “Wayward Sisters”. No. I LOVED IT! *shakingandcrying* IT IS THE SPIN OFF WE DESERVE!!!

Ahem. Where was I? The episode, yes. Which I overall loved and I’ve been thinking about it all day and there was so much in it, so many layers and stories worth telling, and guys, I really really need this show. There was one part however that I wasn’t a big fan of, and I have seen a lot of discussion and speculation about it already, and it is likely not even going to be a permanent thing, but they still went there in the first place so. More detailed and vague discussion below.

So, let’s do this.

**The damsels in distress**

Aka Sam and Dean. Like that was their role. Eating lizards and getting captured. And honestly? I didn’t mind at all their absence. I do enjoy episodes that are told from a different perspective than theirs, and unlike the last time we got a backdoor pilot (9x20) this time we saw characters that we actually know and care about. And instead of being some random dudes Sam and Dean are the catalyst of the story. It is them going missing that starts the story, and even though all of the women we saw know them, I would argue they are not the motivation for everyone. Sure enough Claire and Jody try to save them because they saved their lives, and arguably Donna as well. But I think both Alex and Patience are in it for Jody. And Kaia… well, it is possible she feels a certain kind of responsibility for Sam and Dean, but I don’t think she owes them anything, especially after Dean threated her with a gun. So what is Kaia’s motivation here? Claire, I would say.

Anyway, Sam and Dean going missing might be where this story starts, but these women and their stories don’t revolve around them. Their relationships with each other is the essence of this episode, not their relationship with the Winchesters, which gives us a solid ground to build their stories on.

**Dreamhunter**

Listen, some of us (myself included) already shipped Kaia and Claire based on the promo photos for this episode, so to say this episode has been giving is quite an understatement. If they wanted to set up a new ship they did a perfect job. And really, the best explanation why Kaia would willingly go back to the Bad Place? Because she developed a giant crush on the beautiful girl, who saved her from a monster out of her nightmares and swore she would protect her. The meeting and bonding between these two was just beautiful written, and even if you don’t ship it, they managed to put a real emotional weight behind their bond and Claire’s broken heart at the end.

Claire’s approach to Kaia was a different one than Dean’s. She talked to her and could easily see how scared Kaia was. Kaia’s scars have probably been a topic of many conversations in her life, and as she hardly can tell anyone about their true origin people might have come to their own conclusions. Claire though in return shows off her own scars, maybe because she knows how insecure Kaia is about her own. Unlike Kaia though Claire has a certain sense of pride about her scars, because she collected them during her hunts, and much like Dean Claire has found her purpose in hunting and making the world a better place through it. It is then that we see Kaia for the first time neither scared or angry, but relaxed and smiling. And it is through her understanding of what hunting means to Claire and the role Sam and Dean played in her life, that Kaia decides to help Claire.

(Also, the last time we saw two people comparing their scars? That was in 11x15 with Dean and Gunner. I love that by now Supernatural writers use the show’s very own queer subtext as a reference to make their own show even more queer <3 )

And we saw them holding hands not once, but twice. My heart. However. And this is my big “no, you didn’t” with this episode. Kaia’s death. Now, a brief glimpse at my dash told me that there are already different theories why Kaia isn’t dead. Saying that the Kaia at the end was our Kaia. Or that the two Kaias were two halves of the same person, like Charlie in 10x11. And both Kim and Bobo teased her return. However. Despite the fact that I’m pretty sure she comes back (the real Kaia, not AU!Kaia), the fact that they killed her in the first place bothers me a lot. Why? Because it seemed like the only motivation the writers could come up with to make Claire stay at home for a while. And we have been there so many times. Jess died so Sam would go hunting again. Kevin died so Dean would take the MoC. Charlie died so Dean would fully give in to the MoC. Eileen died so the Winchesters would turn against the BMoL. And so on. Like killing of a character is the only way to get a character in a certain direction. And I don’t think it is. There are other ways. So even if Kaia comes back, I’m still angry they had to kill her in the first place (leaving her alone in the place she feared the most).

I wonder though about her doppelgänger? It seems that she is more powerful than Kaia, because she was able to open a rift on her own (unlike that universe has a Nephilim as well). And I wonder if she directed our Kaia to this place in her dreams, hoping she would eventually go there, so they could swap places? Did she wanted to kill Claire or Kaia all along? Is she going to pretend to be our Kaia in order to gain Claire’s trust? (Did anyone say Casmodeus?)

And interesting enough even though we thought Kaia’s death prevented Patience’s vision to come true, it still did, because Patience interpreted what she saw wrong.

Going back to Claire for a bit, because she and Jody were the centre of this episode. Her opening scene gave me some Asa Fox feelings, both kids (Asa and the girl here) being rescued by kickass lady hunters. I think it was no coincidence that the girl looked a lot like a young Claire and that Claire watched her reunited with her mother, as Jody and Claire’s relationship would be a central theme of the episode.  The core family unit is Jody, Alex and Claire (though Donna shares a history with the girls as well and I want to know everything about it). They parallel John, Sam and Dean here, but not in the clear way we would expect it. Claire wants to be a hunter, it is where she finds her purpose, same like Dean. Alex wants a normal life and tries to help people as a civilian, the same way Sam tried. But then it is Claire who left her family, just like Sam, and Alex who stayed behind and tries to be a good daughter, the way Dean did. Jody of course is the anti-John, but her concern for Claire is paralleled with John’s concern for Sam. Both believe that by leaving their children risk their lives. In the end both Claire and Sam return, both after losing someone close to them.

**The meek (shall inherit the earth)**

I admit that both Patience and Donna were a bit underwritten, but then again Patience already had an episode focused on her (13x03) and Donna will have one (13x11), so that is okay. We are so used to hunters that it is easy to forget that it is not normal to bury monsters in your graveyard or to own an armory. But Patience is our reminder how surreal this world must look like to outsiders. She is also not a fighter, same as Alex, and I loved Alex’s comment that they don’t have to be in order to help. All these women bring different skills to this fight, and they are all important.

There is a brief moment where she decides to go back and wonders if her father takes her back. We all have discussed the ambiguity of Patience’s father saying _“You go now, you choose that life, you don’t come back”_ in 13x09. Apparently Patience is concerned that her father throw her out for good. I still wonder how Patience will fit into this show, when it hopefully gets picked up. We saw the reason why she was there and why she stayed, but now that both Jody and Claire are save, why should she stay? Or are more visions coming? We will see.

**Some other things:**

\- Loved the opening song (“ _I am the Fire_ ” by Halestorm) and I would love if they could use this song for an intro when the show gets picked up. Like one of those longer intros with all the characters we used to have in the old days. Miss those.

\- Still not over _Mr. Werewolf_. Why did he open the door anyway? Did he expect a delivery?

\- Claire keeps a journal, the same way John did.

\- Dean saying “ _My hero_ ”. In a total not even remotely sardonic way. Because these men can admit and accept help when they need it. 

 

So yeah, please make this show a thing. Please give us these wonderful women, let us hear their stories, let them become a family. Give us these all female ensemble show, with all these different kind of relationships to explore, with daughters and moms and sisters and friends and lovers. It is time.


	14. 13x10 Afterthoughts

**13x10 Afterthoughts**

Remember what Kaia said in 13x09?

> _In this world, I don’t even rank a milk carton. No one is gonna come for me. I’m not **white, rich, blonde.** No one’s gonna fight for me. I don’t matter. _

White, rich, blonde - reminds you of anyone? Of course Claire is not rich, but Kaia doesn’t know that when she first sees her. All she knows is that Claire is friends with Sam & Dean - with whom Kaia didn’t have the best start to begin with - so she might assume Claire is just another person thunking she is entitled to tell Kaia what to do. 

And if we look back Claire did have the picture perfect life Kaia assumes white blonde girls just have - that is until Cas came crashing in. Kaia and Claire share more than just bodies full of scars - they both have a history of foster homes and not fitting in. Kaia believes she doesn’t matter - but she matters to Claire, who swore to protect her, who held her hand while dying, who then swears to avenge her. 

Given that both 13x09 and 13x10 where written by Bobo I think that line was no coincidence - it was meant to remind us of Claire, it was foretelling us that a white, blonde girl would save Kaia from the monsters out of her nightmare and show Kaia just how similiar they are. Kaia believes that only girls who look like Claire have a value in this world, but then it is Claire who shows her that she matters as well, and that she is worth saving <3


	15. Claire & her hair

**Claire & her hair**

(Oh hey, that rhymes)

(All images courtesy of [HomeOfTheNutty](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fhomeofthenutty.com%2Fsupernatural%2Fscreencaps%2Findex.php&t=ZTI4ZDFlMzVkOWFjMjJkMGQ0OTMxMDM1N2EyMjEyYjM2OTc5YzYwMyxOUEQxVDVMbg%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170129293972%2Fclaire-her-hair&m=1))

Now, as you know, I try to keep my blog wank free, and my dash as well, but occasionally I do see little waves of wank. As you might be aware of a certain group of people wasn’t thrilled by the idea of Wayward Sisters and in particular not very fond of Claire. Among the very arguments why she is the worst one was that apparently her hair is too perfect. Really. And look, I’m not even going there, because if you try to justify your misogyny you simply can’t win. 

Another argument had been that wearing her hair open was simply unpratical for a hunter like Claire. And while they are right about this, I feel like rather than taking this as an argument against Claire, I feel like this informs us about her character and it might have been done on purpose as well.

First of all, this is still television and there is a long list of female characters whose hair and outfit isn’t pratical at all for their job/the environment they work in. 

[Originally posted by izzylightwould](https://tmblr.co/ZUjnRy1-KkIRv)

Beauty trumps pratical. Still, I would argue that Claire’s hair was like that on purpose, and not just a decision made by the hair & make up department, but by the writer of the episode, Robert Berens.

Why? Because the argument reminded me of another scene and another character who had very characteristic long blonde hair: Mary Winchester.

Now, in 12x03 she cuts her hair, and argues that it is more pratical during a hunt.

> _**Sam:** Did you cut your hair?_
> 
> _**Mary:** I’m gonna keep it short if I’m gonna go out on a hunt, you know? Why give the bad guys the advantage of long pullable hair right?_
> 
> _**Dean:** Wow. I’ve been trying to tell Sam that for years. _

Interesting enough though the framing of the scene where she cuts her made it look like she did it out of grief, to mourn the loss of her old life. Long hair was the luxery of her civilian life, a status symbol if you want, and in that life she usually wore her hair open.

During hunts though, she wore it in braids, as we saw in 12x06 and the way she did it again in 12x02.

  


Ironically though I think that cutting her hair at the length we saw in 12x03 was the opposite of pratical: it is too short to make a ponytail, but still long enough to pull at it. 

(Also, new headcanon: Sam once lost upper hand in a fight against a random monster because it pulled his hair, and Dean had to save him, and ever since then Dean never stopped nagging about it)

Bobo wrote 12x03, so he is aware of impracticalness of long open hair during a hunt. And he had at least one character pointing that out.

> _**Claire:** Nice outfit._
> 
> _**Alex:** It’s a uniform, what’s your excuse?_
> 
> _**Claire:** I look great._
> 
> _**Alex:** You look like Biker Barbie._
> 
> _**Claire:** Thank you. _

If there is one thing Barbie is known for it is her trademark long blonde hair. Alex argues that her outfit is an uniform, pratical clothing meant for the job she is doing. Unlike Claire’s outfit.

And I also had a chat with [@elizabethrobertajones](https://tmblr.co/mgG_5cqPDBqPGN1DslU_e6Q) the other day about Claire’s hair and that curls like hers don’t happen naturally. Meaning that she does probably curl her hair every morning (right after she sharpens her knife).

So what does this tell us about Claire? I think it shows us that Claire, even though she no longer hunts like a dumbass, is far from perfect. At the end of the episode she admits to Jody that her way of hunting - rushing in without a plan, because making plans wastes time - is no longer working. She feels responsible for Kaia’s death and asks her herself if she could have prevented it. Of course her hair had nothing to do with it. But it tells us something about Claire, about a young woman who despite being a hunter likes to do her hair and put on some make up, a young woman who still has to learn a lot about hunting and who still figures out her place in this world. Some people argue that Claire is arrogant and too good at hunting at such a young age. But she isn’t. She failed to protect Kaia. Nobody wants to see a show about a character who already knows everything/is good at everything. Sam and Dean weren’t at the beginning of the show. And given that Claire is still younger now then they were back then Wayward Sisters will probably give her even more of a coming of age arc. 

Clothes & make up & hair are meant to inform us about characters. [@postmodernmulticoloredcloak](https://tmblr.co/mf4M6zzYHBBds6ET4AADySQ) has written a great meta about 13x09 and how the shots of both [Patience’s and Kaia’s hands](http://nerdylittleshit.tumblr.com/post/169750383782/postmodernmulticoloredcloak-stardustmisha) tell us a lot about these characters. Not only Mary’s hair but her [choices of clothes in season 12](http://nerdylittleshit.tumblr.com/post/161789827677/i-dont-know-if-you-have-noticed-but-they-have) told us a lot about her character as well. Claire’s choosen hairstyle has a narrative purpose, yes. But no reason to hate her still.


	16. Thoughts about Spn 13x11

**Thoughts about Spn 13x11**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

This is your daily reminder that I love Sheriff Donna Hanscum. A lot. I liked this episode. A lot. Because it showed a different side of Donna and showed us what an incredible talented actress Briana is, and based on this episode alone there is such a huge potential for Donna’s arc in Wayward Sisters… and just make Wayward a thing, because I need more of this amazing ladies and their stories.

This was also a very interesting episode when it came to Sam *grabbyhands* and it had an interesting case as well. Lots to love and I think my first reaction of not really knowing what to do with this episode came from what I expected. With the official synopsis and that they teased that this episode would change Donna in a fundamental way I was afraid her niece wouldn’t make it. I’m glad they didn’t go there, because we don’t need yet another dead young woman and a hunter with a tragic backstory. Because it feels like 90% of the hunters we met have one, where they lost someone close to them (family) and that is how they got in the life. Characters like Garth or Donna are the exception; people who accidently witnessed the supernatural and with the knowledge of what is out there couldn’t sit around and do nothing. (And mind you, Donna was already a cop, someone who had sworn to protect others, but Garth man… Garth just wanted to help. I miss him.)

Anyway, Wendy survived, so I thought Doug wouldn’t make it, but he did, even though he left Donna in the end. They choose this break up as the turning point for Donna, and perhaps Sam’s words that as a hunter she can’t afford getting close to people. From a storytelling point it leaves the door open for Donna to move away to Sioux Falls or to stay where she is if Wayward doesn’t become a thing (please don’t). And it is subverting the show’s own hunter trope: Donna did lose someone but not in the way we expected.

So, let’s take a closer look.

**Sad Sam**

Sam was really interesting from a storytelling POV, but man, I just want to give him a hug. And a dog. This episode did something fascinating, because it mirrored how the season started, but now the roles are reversed, and they are not even subtle about it. Sam is down, he is at his breaking point, and it is up to Dean to cheer him up. This starts with Sam not being able to sleep, and instead of getting up instead he just stays in bed, trying to find some sleep anyway, and it is only when Donna calls that he gets up. And if that isn’t an accurate representation of depression, because boy I can relate.

Now that they know that their mother is still alive and Jack is still missing the show needs to give us a good enough reason why they don’t continue to bring both of them back, and for Dean Donna calling for help because her niece is missing is reason enough. It is not however for Sam. And it is not that he doesn’t care about Donna and Wendy, but his priorities are elsewhere.

Sam is on a downward spiral just as Dean starts to get better. They started the season at different places emotional, and since they developed in different directions as well. Dean started the season at his lowest point. Both Cas and Mary were gone, with no hope for him to get them back and he was convinced that Jack would be evil. Slowly he changed his mind about Jack, first in 13x04, more so in 13x06 after they realized that Jack was the one who brought back Cas, up to 13x09 where he called him family after seeing Jack’s effort to find Mary and Jack dismissing Lucifer. He also knows that Jack, wherever he is, can take care of himself. Nobody, except maybe God or Amara, is powerful enough to hurt him yet alone to kill him. His previous worry was about Jack being the one hurting others and being manipulated by someone truly evil. But Jack has earned Dean’s trust. As for Mary… Dean thought his mother was dead. Now he knows she is alive, and despite the fact that she is currently a prisoner in another universe, this is still better than her dead. Knowing that she is alive gave him new hope, because it is something he hasn’t dared to hope before.

His behaviour in this episode is also different than how we saw him react in 13x09 after learning the truth about his mother, where he was desperate enough to threaten Kaia with a gun. This might indicate that Jack did indeed (accidently) influenced Dean’s behaviour.

And then there is of course Cas. Cas’s loss was what hit Dean the hardest and we already saw a change in his behaviour in 13x06, long before he knew about Mary, and back then we could already witness how Sam was not on the same page. Was he happy that Cas was back? Sure. But Mary was still on his mind, still his priority.

Sam started the season way more optimistic, given the circumstances. He ignored his own grief and rather tried to focus on things he thought he could still change. He had to believe that his mother was still alive, that Jack could be good (that our choices makes us who we are, not our heritage) and that Jack could help them getting her back. He had to because he couldn’t cope with the alternative. By 13x06 they had Cas back, but Sam started to wonder at what prize. Part of him started to fear Jack, who could bring an angel back from the Empty, without being aware of it. By 13x09 Sam gets a confirmation that he was right about Mary, but things don’t look good for her, and Jack, the only one powerful enough to bring her back, goes missing. He feels like they missed their shot, he feels responsible for Kaia, he loses his hope. And now he gets captured and they are literary selling his heart, like the metaphor couldn’t be clearer, and Sam learns just how many more monsters are out there, how little the work is they do, and he wonders what the point is. And everything Sam says here are usually Dean’s words, and to see Sam in such a dark place is frightening. And obviously I want him to get his hope and optimism back, but not immediately. These things take time after all.  

**Desperate Donna**

As I already mentioned I really loved to see a different side of Donna, that gave her character more depth, and gave Briana a great opportunity to show is what a great actress she is. This episode proved again that Donna is very good at her job (the interrogation, making the right call in not killing Marlon immediately etc), so why call Sam and Dean, especially as this case doesn’t even look remotely monster related? Because she is desperate, out of her mind, and because she knows that unlike her and the real FBI Sam and Dean don’t have to play by the rules (“That’s how we do it in the FBI”). And even though it doesn’t look monster related she has seen enough to know that it could be, so better safe than sorry and calling for help.

And I know that Dean called Donna family as a cover up, but I think there is a bit of truth in it as well. Basically I love the idea of Donna as extended family, so I take what I can get. And later we have the conversation between Doug and Dean, where Dean tells Doug to trust Donna. And man, that is huge. Because Dean has huge trust issues. He knows how hard it is, knows that feeling that someone he cares about keeps secrets from him, he can relate. But he also knows Donna’s reasons, knows that given the right moment she would open up to Doug. And trust is a big thing in all of Dean’s most important relationships: he needed to learn to trust his brother, to trust Cas, to trust Mary, who all lied to him, no matter the good intentions behind it. (And for the record Dean has done the same thing, just to point this out)

Donna stays calm and focussed (mostly) given the circumstances. The emotional fallout happens at the end with Doug. This already starts when Doug realizes that Donna has not been honest with him, and that her secret might be related to those FBI guys, who probably already made him insecure at that point. They look like male models and they share a secret with Donna, and Marlon definitely hit a point when he said Donna is out of Doug’s league. And that is before he learns that she is a monster killing superhero.

Dean naturally assumes that Doug would become a hunter as well after learning the truth. Cops becoming hunters is a thing. The first time the idea was introduced was with Victor in season 3, and I’m pretty sure he would have started hunting. Later we had Jody of course and then Donna, and it makes sense given their job, their oath to protect and serve, that they would start hunting, at least part time. And I love that we have Doug here who is a good guy, who wants to help, and who is no coward, but who openly admits that this is out of his league. Not everyone is made to be a hunter. Doug will still make the world a better place with his normal job, the same way Alex does. There is more than one way to help. But going back to Donna, her arc is now full circle. She started out very insecure, doubting herself, and became this strong independent woman, a hero indeed, to the point where the Doug thinks he is not good enough for her. Which is sad for Donna and of course Doug is worthy. Still, to Doug, who already loved her before, Donna has just become Wonder Woman, the same woman who we met in a diet camp because her husband left her.

**I’m running out of alliterations**

I was also invested in the case of the week. When I first heard that the FBI guy had spent 12 years on it I thought he didn’t make a good enough job, as he had little to nothing. But obviously nothing is a better cover up than the FBI guy being involved in the crime. 12 years is a long time, and I think it is no coincidence that the Winchesters have been hunting together for a bit over 12 years (yes, I know the official timeline is a bit wonky, but each season is roughly one year). Of course the reason why no hunter has (probably) invested the case before is that it doesn’t look like their thing at all. Nothing indicates it could be monster related, and that is because the real monster is human after all. And to me the human monster had always been the most terrifying.

On a lighter note, Sam’s surprised look, seeing how much his heart is worth. Also, please look at these user names:  Canine123, Yummers316, V3RON1C4M4RSF4N, xxxBABADUDExxx, LoneWolf638, 2Fangs2Furious, MikeySpyder. ([source](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supernaturalwiki.com%2Findex.php%3Ftitle%3D13.11_Breakdown&t=ZmNmNjJlOTYxYmVhZjRlMzFkMmQ0ZWVkYzM2MGUxNWFiMTZkZTJiNSxXQkFQRFA0Qg%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170168833777%2Fthoughts-about-spn-13x11&m=1))

On an unrelated note: [look at Wendy’s awesome shirt](https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/170164955428/ibelieveinthelittletreetopper). I hope she becomes a recurring guest in Wayward Sisters.

Until next week, where Dean gets hit by a love spell, and Sam has read enough Fan Fiction to know that it is time for Cas to come home. #trueloveskiss


	17. Winchesters & the law

**Winchesters & the law**

Now, the Winchesters and their relationship with the law/law enforcers has been a recurring theme ever since the show started. What I loved about 13x11 was how there were nods to both how this relationship started and to what it has evolved now.

With their job as hunters the Winchesters are in a constant conflict with the law. They both pretend to be the law as well as working outside the law. And especially Dean’s opinion of them isn’t always the best one.

2x12:

> _**Dean:** Friggin’ cops.   
> _
> 
> _**Sam:** They’re just doing their job, Dean.  
> _
> 
> _**Dean:** No, they’re doing our job, only they don’t know it, so they suck at it. _

Especially in the first three seasons the law is a constant threat for the brothers, and the show gives it a face with the introduction of Victor Henriksen (also in 2x12).

[Originally posted by victorhenriksen](https://tmblr.co/ZrRI4uqG6lUL)

To him the Winchesters look like psychopaths. Things changed however in 3x12, where he finally learns the truth about the supernatural and starts to question his life choices.

> _**Henriksen:** My job is boring, it’s frustrating. You work three years for one break, and then maybe you can save … a few people. Maybe. That’s the payoff. I’ve been busting my ass for 15 years to nail a handful of guys and all this while, there’s something off in the corner so big. So yeah… sign me up for that big, frosty mug of wasting my damn life._
> 
> _**Dean:** You didn’t know.  
> _
> 
> _**Henriksen:** Now I do… What’s out there? Can you guys beat it? Can you win? _

From time to time I like to imagine the AU where Victor didn’t die, and I’m pretty sure he would have become a hunter, at least part time. Victor wasn’t the first cop who learned the truth, he wasn’t even the first one to help Sam and Dean cover up their tracks. But he was to first to look at his job, and reconsider his choices, wondering if he could do more, now that he knew how much darker it was out there. I think it also changed how Sam and Dean’s viewed the law enforcement. Until then they never considered them as a potentiol ally, people with both the right skill set and the right moral code (making the world a safer place) to become great hunters.

This idea of an officer becoming a hunter hasn’t been picked up however until Jody was introduced in season 5 and later with Donna learning the truth in season 10. Fingers crossed “Wayward Sisters” gets picked up the show will hopefully explore the advantages and disadvantages of sheriffs who are also hunters. 

Now, as I mentioned, 13x11 made nods to both these concepts, the law as a threat, and cops as allies. At the beginning Sam is hesistant about working the case (which at this point isn’t even a real case yet).

> _**Sam:** This isn’t even our kind of case. And you know, with the real Feds here, we should back down._
> 
> _**Dean:** You’re joking, right?   
> _
> 
> _**Sam:** We’re still fugitives._
> 
> _**Dean:** They think we’re dead._
> 
> _**Sam:** Do you really wanna get on the FBI’s radar again?_

This is a reminder that they are still in fact fugitives. Dean’s argument that they are officially dead doesn’t really work here, because the actual FBI could still take their fingerprints and confirm that they faked their deaths. And while the FBI agent turned out to be the real (human) monster, he did recognize the Winchester, although not as fugitives but as the famous hunters that they are. 

The episode ends with another officer learning the truth: Doug.

[Originally posted by destielonfire](https://tmblr.co/Zj1fMh2UUQAI3)

And interesting enough both he and Victor learn the truth by becoming a monster for a short time: Victor was possesed by a demon and Doug gets turned into a vampire. After Jody and Donna Dean instantely assumes that Doug will become a (part time) hunter as well. 

> _**Dean:** Listen, Doug I know it’s been a day. But now you know what’s out there. Be nice to have another good guy on our side._
> 
> _**Doug:** I – No. Maybe you all can live this life, but I can’t. I just wanna go home._
> 
> _**Donna:** So we’ll go home._
> 
> _**Doug:** And what? I’m a cop, ‘cause I like helping folks. But, vampires? That’s… I’m not._
> 
> _**Donna:** Doug. I’m sorry I lied to you but I can’t give this up.  
> _
> 
> _**Doug:** I know. Donna, you kill monsters. You’re a damn hero. But that’s… it’s not me. I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry. _

Doug however can’t do this, while he also accepts that Donna can’t give up this part of herself. Other people have already talked about Doug’s choice, how it doesn’t make him any kind of less than what Sam and Dean and Donna are, and how this yet again brings another perspective to the show. I love how the show brings up these old themes, and how they still find new ways to portay them.


	18. Thoughts about Spn 13x12

**Thoughts about Spn 13x12**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Great Episode. Many things to love. And also very meta-ish? Like, there were several moments where I looked at my screen and just thought “I see what you did there”. Definitely lot of things worth a second look, discussion and speculation. So, without further rambling, let’s get to it.

**There is no I in Team**

Especially if there is no team to begin with. I bet these are the moments where Cas admitted to himself that Crowley wasn’t that bad after all. I love that Cas didn’t even consider for a single moment to work together with Lucifer, that he only used him to break out (and only after he learned that Mary was in danger) and stabbed him at the first opportunity he got. Also, apparently Cas’s new superpower is to sit and wait and annoy everyone around him long enough until he gets where he wants to (I mean this worked for me as a teenager as well).

What this episode proved is that Lucifer without his power is a useless character. His one defining characteristic is that he is one of the most powerful and therefore dangerous beings, who just looks down on everyone. Take his power away there is not much left besides a man who hates everyone, and that is just pathetic. And to contrast this, we have Cas, who is a fully flashed character, who is above all things kind, and loyal and devoted. What is so special about Cas is not his powers or the fact that he is an angel, but who he is, as a person. Lucifer is not a person. And to further contrast this Cas tells him about Jack, about the things he likes, about the good in him. He never mentions Jack’s powers, the only thing he has in common with his father. Only time will tell how Jack will react to his father however. Still, all Lucifer talked about was the absence of his powers and the only time Cas talked for a longer time it was about Jack, the person, not the Nephilim.

I have seen a few complains about the Casmodeus-plot or rather people feeling like it had no use, now that Cas is free and will be reunited with the brothers. I have to admit I wasn’t invested in the Casmodeus-plot and had no real desire to see him further interacting with Sam and Dean. We already had this storyline with Casifer. If anything it is about time they set up a safe-word to make sure Cas is really Cas in the future. I think the purpose of Casmodeus was to explain Cas’s absence and at the same time to find a reason why Sam and Dean are not worried about him. It is possible though Yockey simply thought it was a stupid idea to begin with. I mean Lucifer says that shapeshifting wasn’t one of the powers he gave to Asmodeus, which might be Yockey’s way of saying it was entirely Bucklemming’s idea. And really, they could have explained Cas’s absence with him actually looking for Jack. The random demon says they have plans for Cas however, so there might be a reason why he had to be Asmodeus’s prisoner. I also thought that it was odd that Sam and Dean hadn’t filled in Cas at this point. Why wouldn’t they tell Cas that Jack is missing, especially when Cas(modeus) called every day and asked about him?

There were also a few shout-outs to the audience: Cas being called a pretty boy, Lucifer bringing up the nurture vs nature debate and Cas saying that Jack looks nothing like Lucifer (because he looks like Cas).

**The queen is dead, long live the queen**

Y’ALL, ROWENA IS BACK! I know I said that before, but ever since her storyline is no longer tied to Crowley’s she has become such an interesting, layered, complex character. She has been around for such a long time and every time we see her we learn a bit more about her, but there is still so much left to explore.

Speaking of Crowley though, Rowena of course greets the Winchesters the same way her son did (“Hello boys”), which might mean she is gonna replace his role in the narrative. And to be honest she is the only character that I would allow to do that. Also, we finally see someone mourn Crowley. For all the hate between Rowena and her son, I always doubted they actually wanted to see each other dead, even though they tried to kill each other. Crowley was the only link left to Rowena’s past, to the woman she was before she became a witch, to her humanity. She doesn’t care that he died as a hero, because it means he is still dead, still not with her, because the only way she can love is in a selfish way. (I wonder if she tries to bring him back from the dead?)

The biggest emotional depth about this episode was that it acknowledged Rowena’s abuse at the hands off Lucifer and with that Sam’s shared trauma as well. Which was such a huge thing, and honestly the conversation between Sam and Rowena in the car was the best part of the episode for me. 11x10 was the turning point in Rowena’s story, because it was back then when she revealed to Crowley why she hated him, because her son was a constant reminder of his father using her and that love was nothing more than a weakness. And then moments later Lucifer killed her and I remember how angry I was after the episode because just as Rowena’s was revealed as a victim of abuse she died of the hands of yet another abuser. And not only once, but twice, admitting that Lucifer showed her his true face. Rowena is scared and she is scared all the time, which is paralyzing for someone as powerful and powerhungry as her. She believes the only way to end this fear is to kill Lucifer, once and for all.

Sam of course can relate. He has seen Lucifer’s real face as well, which creates a certain kind of intimacy between these two. And just as Rowena Sam can’t outrun his abuser. After his time in hell Lucifer first returned as Hallucifer in season 7 and later from the cage wearing one of his best friends and invading his home in season 11 (and next week he will learn that Lucifer is back once again). And yet Sam knows that nothing they will do to Lucifer will make the fear and the feeling of being helpless ever disappear. And despite Sam caring around this trauma for eight years, I don’t remember it has ever been addressed so directly. In the end Sam gives Rowena the page to unlock her power nevertheless, hoping she (and maybe he as well) will find some peace with it (also glad they didn’t keep that a secret for too long).  

So what does that mean for the future? For one thing I am sure Lucifer has to die. Either through Rowena or Rowena and Sam together or Lucifer sacrifices himself as part of a redemption arc. Honestly though, after this episode and the painful reminder who Lucifer truly is I doubt he will get a redemption arc (another “no, thank you” from Yockey to Bucklemming?). Also, we learned that all this time Rowena wasn’t even operating on full power. With Rowena having all her magic back she could become the real big bad in the end. Though I would rather have it if after she kills Lucifer she realizes that all that power doesn’t bring her happiness and lets her magic go and becomes human again.  Also, that whole scene where she gets her powers back? Kudos to both Ruth and Amanda Tapping. That was such a huge powerful feminist scene. And were her eyes blue in the end or purple? Her magic has always been purple, so that would make sense, and so far we have only seen blue eyes with angels. Hmmm.

**Sibling mirrors**

Say what you want about Jamie and Jennie but I really liked their clothes/style. Anyway, they were meant as one big dark mirror for the Winchesters, trying to bring back their dead mother, and willing to kill everyone around them for it (at least flower guy died smiling). This is the same as Sam releasing the Darkness in order to save Dean from the MoC or Dean threating Kaia in order to save Mary. None of these things have been portrayed as positive however and in the end the sisters kill each other, which is enough of a statement for the brother’s codepency.

So, let’s talk about the love spell a bit, because Yockey did manage to sneak in a lot of Destiel stuff. First they mention that a true love’s kiss can wake you up, and obviously fandom has been giddy about the idea of Cas saving Dean from the spell through a kiss. Then we have Dean coming back, telling Sam it is time to call Cas, and the very next thing he says is that he is in love. Ahem. Dean wants Jaime to move in, because this is big time, and well who already has a room in the bunker? Cas of course. Dean calls Jaime his soulmate and talks about cosmic fate, both terms that have been used in a million fan fiction. Dean acting under a love spell is basically how most people imagine Dean to act once Destiel finally becomes canon. And isn’t it great that the only time we see Dean kissing a women this season is through a love spell, resulting in literary false love? Like the only way Dean is even remotely interested in anyway is through a spell. Because he is of course already in love. Also bless Rowena for asking about the fifth base (I had to look this up though, poor sheltered girl that I am).

So let’s talk a moment about Sam. I love that they continue to address his depression, that they have finally fully acknowledged his trauma caused by Lucifer and him opening up to Dean. For as much as the first half the season focussed on Dean’s grief I hope we get the same attention for Sam now. Despite being around for 12,5 years Sam at times still feels like a blank page and in some ways to fault is with the writers who seem to focus more on Dean than Sam. So, I’m all in for more of Sam’s struggle. Here he admits that his way of coping was to come up with a plan: helping Jack and through that being able to save Mary. Now both Jack and Mary are gone, there is no plan B and the MoL library is as useless as usual (seriously the only helpful book in there is the Grimoire and seeing that AU!Kevin used a spell to open the rift I wonder of Rowena could help them saving Mary and Jack). Without his plan Sam has nothing left to distract him, to shield him from the pain he is going through. Sam looked at a horrible situation and tried to make the best out of it, looking at the options he still had. Dean mourned different; he was in no state to even begin to hope or to form a plan. Dean drowned in his pain until Cas come back, until he had his win, and only after he was able to function again. Sam however had ignored said pain until Jack was gone as well, and now it is crushing him. Obviously I want Sam to get better as well, but for now I love that the show explores his emotional journey and I hope we see a bit more of it in the upcoming episodes.

Until next week, when my review will look like this: DANNEEL! DANNEEL! DANNEEL!!!!!


	19. Thoughts about Spn 13x13

**Thoughts about Spn 13x13**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

I admit I have mixed feelings about this episode. Overall I would say it was ok-ish. I’m not a fan of saying it was good for a BuckLemming-episode, because I don’t think we should rate them or their episodes with a lower bar than other writers. The episode was mostly plot-driven, or focussed on characters I am not really interested in, so I didn’t feel offended when I first watched it. However between me watching it (before work) and me writing this review (after work) pass at least 12 hours or more, which gave me enough time to think about some of the plot related implications the episode did. There are still things I enjoyed, but overall I think the episode was messy.

As always, let’s take a closer look.

**Sister Jo = Rowena reloaded?**

For the most part I liked her character. I admit I am always a bit biased when it comes to characters played by actors/actresses I like, so there is that. I’m not sure if the character is what most people expected her to be. For those who have speculated she might be a fallen angel, congratulations. However for now she is villainous character than an ally to the Winchesters, and I’m curious in what direction her story will go, because I think there might be potential for either way. Sister Jo, or rather Anael, is well… a true Slytherin. She always looks at for herself and all her actions are dedicated to do what is best for her. In that way she reminded me a lot of Rowena. Just like her she is not afraid of Lucifer, but rather fascinated by his power and his status and tries to find a way to use this for her own benefit. And just like with Rowena there is a sexual/romantic element to her relationship to Lucifer; she tries to seduce him and in the end she is at his side in heaven, being his (un)official queen (the way Rowena dreamt to be). Just like Rowena however her hubris could be her downfall. The moment Rowena was no longer useful to Lucifer he killed her and the same could happen to Anael. She either goes out like this or she gives in to her human desires and needs, that she admittedly experiences whenever her grace is drained. She experienced her fall as liberating, the human life gave her opportunities she didn’t have as an angel, so she might rather choose this freedom than being a soldier again in heaven. However I think it is more likely her ambitions will kill her in the end.

One thing that doesn’t add up however is the fact that nobody heard of Sister Jo/Anael before. After the angels fell and reclaimed heaven they tried to bring all the angels back to heaven, even with force. So how come no one of them tried to bring Anael back? How was she able to heal people for 3, 4 years without a newspaper reporting about it or hunters showing up? And then of course her taking money for her healing powers is a great contrast to Castiel, who healed random babies in parks or Flagstaff, who worked at a hospital and healed people.

The biggest problem I had however was the sexual element between Anael and Lucifer. Here we have an angel feeding on another angel’s grace portrayed as something intimate, sexual. There is a consent issue, as it always is with angels and their vessels (and Anael telling us that her vessel is married). However I don’t think Anael was forced to do anything; if she wanted to escape she had her chance when the Winchesters arrived. Still, the question is why it had to be sexual? Part of the reason why it made me uncomfortable to watch is that I neither like Lucifer, the character, or the guy who plays him. And even without that had the theft of an angel’s grace always been portrayed as an unforgiveable sin among angels. Cas described himself as a barbarian after he did it the first time and later refused to do it again, willing to rather die. Because unlike now it had been also implied that the taking of an angel’s grace resulted in either becoming human or death for said angel. If it had been an option to take grace without killing and for angels to recharge why did Cas never consider it? Why did Hanna never offer her grace, when she was desperate to help Cas? I hindsight it looks like BuckLemming changed established lore to fit their story. Again.

Also, because I know BuckLemming usually don’t know/don’t care about fandom, here is the reminder that back in season 4 everyone’s headcanon was that Anael was Anna’s angelic name. I still stick with it. There could be more than one Anael, right?

**All the white dudes**

I’m not sure if they still intent on a Lucifer redemption arc. With them I mean BuckLemming of course, Yockey certainly is not interested in it, as 13x12 proved. However BuckLemming kind of ignore other writer’s episodes usually, so who knows? There was a reminder that Lucifer wants to help fighting Michael and that he has some massive daddy issues, however there was also a reminder that he stabbed Cas, killed one angel and intended to kill another. There is also by now a pretty long list of characters who want to see him dead: Sam, Dean, Cas, Mary, AU!Michael, Asmodeus, Ketch, Rowena. Perhaps Jack. And I wouldn’t  count on the angels or Anael to be loyal either. And at least some of them (Michael, Asmodeus, Rowena, Jack) are powerful enough to kill him. So instead of wondering who is the Big Bad of the season we should start betting who will kill Lucifer in the end.

I also wonder if Lucifer really knows how to make new angels and wings, or if he just said it so that they would make him their king again.

There wasn’t much to say about Team Free Will, which in this case is a good thing. I liked that they included Dean apologizing to Cas and being worried about him. Also Cas zapping Ketch unconscious was a big mood. Speaking of Ketch, of course we still don’t trust him, however I believe he was honest when he said he draw the line at Lucifer being free. His moral compass might be totally screwed, but he was raised to kill monsters after all.

Asmodeus at least turns out to be a man with a plan. I think. The archangel blade was a deux ex machina at its worst, but I buy anything that can get us finally rid of Lucifer. And then of course there is the return of Gabriel. While I did enjoy his character I admit he was never in my top five of characters to bring back. What I liked about 9x18 was that it left open if he was really back or not, and at time I liked to believe he wasn’t. Because why would he work for Metatron? And anyway, what did he do all the time? He did help with the apocalypse but couldn’t bother helping to defeat Amara? And does that mean that even Chuck wasn’t aware he was still alive? How did Asmodeus know it then? Wouldn’t it been easier for him to get Michael back? It entirely depends what they make with the character if I like this sudden reveal or not. Also, bringing back Gabriel doesn’t erase killing Kevin, Charlie and Eileen. Never. (Also also, why is his mouth sewn up? Some people smarter than me might know)

And I know the whole Asmodeus holding a chicken wing was a cheap joke, but it worked for me. I wonder though if Donatello remembers his encounter with Asmodeus or if he manipulated him the same way Naomi did with Cas? We will see.

**Some other things: (aka the usual BuckLemming plot holes)**

\- The whole first scene made no sense in no way. Last episode ended with both Cas and Lucifer stabbing each other. Now we see them both appear at different places, Cas in the woods, Lucifer in the city. How did they get there? Is it implied to be a side-effect of stabbing? Like ????????

\- It also makes no sense that Lucifer felt cold & hungry after he stole the cupid’s grace. He still appeared to be human but then again he was strong enough to kill the cupid. Like ???????

Anyway, mini-hiatus ahead, that I will try to use to catch up on some meta. There was some interesting stuff in it and some that we should not think too hard about. Looking forward to the next episode and everyone’s favourite Nougat Son.


	20. Thoughts about Spn 13x14

**Thoughts about Spn 13x14**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we’re back. With an episode that had a lot of things I liked, and lots of food for thoughts. It didn’t move the plot forward a lot, but then again I didn’t expect it anyway. With all the themes and arcs going on right now (Asmodeus, Gabriel, Ketch, Rowena, Lucifer, Anael) it seems like the return of Jack and Mary and the fight against Michael is season’s finale material (though it is possible the other characters get tied into it as well… it’s going to be crowded). The episode gave me a lot of season 5 feelings, which is interesting as season 12 reminded so many (including myself) of season 6 (are we going backwards? Will we end the show with Dean in a white nightgown?). But whereas season 12 paralleled season 6’s emotional arc (Mary betrayed Dean & Sam, deciding to know what was the best for them the way Cas did before), it seems the current season recycles some of season 5’s myth-arc. And someone who has very fond memories of season 5 (and 4) this makes me very exciting.

So, let’s take a closer look!

**The Prisoners**

I know we have seen the apocalypse world before, but so far we have only seen wasteland or the abandoned church Michael uses, but with our first look at the human refugee center this world became real to me. It gives us a human perspective of this world and what Team Free Will tried to prevent in season 5. Back then the apocalypse was only an abstract idea, but here we see the actual reality of it. What is interesting is that it does look different than the future Zachariah showed Dean in 5x04; there is not a single mention of the Croatoan virus. Then again the Michael in the apocalypse world had a wiling vessel, so he might have killed Lucifer before he could use it. I’m still wondering what exactly Michael’s endgame is. He killed Lucifer, like it was his job, and then he turned on the humans as it seems. But why? To get the planet back? That the angels would have the place for themselves? As the Castiel in Zachariah’s illusion said, humans only destroy their home sooner or later. And now they look for a world that is still intact? Or is Michael searching for God? (Good luck with that one) Cas says Michael means War, but war for what?

We start the episode with the illusion Zachariah uses to bring Jack to use his powers (fact: Zachariah is a dick in every universe, using the same mind games as in our world). It is clear that what Jack wants is to be home, to be reunited with his family, and that he fears he can’t control his powers when it matters. He wants to be accepted as he is by Sam and Dean, but as the second illusion with fake Castiel shows he already knows that they are no longer afraid of him.

> _**Fake!Cas:** What about Sam and Dean? Well, if only they’d accepted you instead of teaching you to fear your powers._
> 
> _**Jack:** My powers …_
> 
> _**Fake!Cas:** Because they feared them._
> 
> _**Jack:** …._
> 
> _**Jack:** Who even wrote this sh*t? That is not how Castiel talks. Total OOC._

Still, Zachariah tries to nurse the fear of humans in Jack, planting in him the idea that they will destroy earth one day and that they will never accept him as he is. Later we see apocalypse Bobby doing the same with Mary, telling her not to trust Jack or any angels, because one by one they will turn against her. Both Jack and Mary refuse to believe what they have been told, but only time will tell if they start to get suspicious of each other.

I remember seeing some speculation at the time season 12 aired where people wondered if Mary had known Bobby back in her hunting days. She didn’t, but as it turns out apocalypse Bobby and Mary had some history, and given the way he looked at her and talked about her, I think it is enough material for y’all to start writing some Mary/Bobby fics (Bary? Mobby?).

If anything there conversation illustrated the differences between Mary Campell and Mary Winchester. One made a deal, got married and had children, and in the end died for it, only for a husband and her children to live the life she tried to escape. The other didn’t make the deal and never recovered from the loss of her lover, and given that Bobby says she looks like the Mary he remembers (give or take a year or two) it is fair to assume she died around the same time our Mary did. Both women regretted the decision they made, and leaving out the cosmic consequences of her choice (her sons would save the world), it feels like Mary never really had a choice. No matter what she did it would led her to a life full of regret and guilt. Bobby tells her that she made the right choice with the demon deal, because Sam and Dean needed to be born, and I think this is the show’s way to redeem her character ultimately and to take some of the guilt she feels from her. Mary needed to hear what Sam and Dean know since 12x23 in order to forgive herself. I wonder though if she might stay in the apocalypse world anyway, feeling responsible for it, as her other self made the wrong choice. (And yeah, technically that is not her fault, but that is not how guilt works).

It is clear by now that Jack will stay until he has killed Michael, and maybe even longer. He wants to prove himself, wants to do good, and this is his chance. And it is another reminder that Mary made the right choice, then it is because of Sam and Dean that Jack returned and choose to fight, to be a hero like they are.

**The Pretty Ones**

I love how this show constantly reminds us that Cas and Dean are aesthetically pleasing (Sam too). And that two ancient beings formed by sand where in no way ashamed in admitting that. I will truly miss you, Gog and Magog, I will. Apart from that the scene had some excellent bickering hunter husbands, in what looks like a typical date night for them. I also feel that there is some meaning in Dean getting both kills and saving Cas. Does it further Cas’s feeling of being useless, his need to prove himself, to be worthy of Jack’s resurrection?

Speaking off, that whole conversation between Dean and Cas before they went off to perform the spell was so typical for them and their miscommunication. Dean continues to ask Cas if he is okay, because one time isn’t enough, and this a theme I very much approve. Cas needs to believe that there must be a reason why Jack brought him back, that he deserves to be saved, and if this didn’t give you flashbacks to 4x01 and then I don’t know. Dean tells him that Jack brought him back because they needed him, using again “we” when he meant “I”, but even more he doesn’t specify what he means with it. Because to Cas it might sound again that his family needs him because he is useful, because they need him to help with whatever supernatural crisis they are currently fighting. But Dean needs him in other ways: he needs Cas as his family, as his best friend, and as something more than that. It is not Cas that got his words wrong.

The other way the episode reminded me of season 5 is the way we see Cas act towards the end. Cas has been a soldier for most of his life. He was raised to obey, to think strategically, and that winning the war would be his priority, no matter the casualties. With the threat of Michael coming to their world Cas becomes a soldier again, something he hasn’t been in a long time, at least not as cold and calculating as he was back in season 4 and 5. He does what it takes, even at the cost of a human life (he didn’t kill Donatello, but he isn’t really alive either). The only difference between the old Cas and the Cas from last episode is his motivation. Back then he acted by orders from heaven, at least in season 4, and later he did what he thought was right to prevent the apocalypse from happing. He was however okay with Sam’s sacrifice in 5x22, as it was the only option they had at the time. This time he makes it clear he acts the way he does to protect the ones he loves. Donatello’s cardinal mistake was to hurt Dean. Of course with Michael coming back not only Sam and Dean are in danger but all of humanity, but Cas’s motivations are personal, and that perhaps make him more dangerous.

I think if anything seeing Cas act this way frightens Dean. Dean’s first instinct upon meeting Cas back in season 4 was fear; fear of that alien being that didn’t seem to know or care about humans and their little feelings. Cas has changed a lot since then, to the point where Dean no longer sees him as an angel but just as Cas, as part of his family. I sincerely hope that Cas’s behaviour will prompt Dean to talk to him, to tell him he is worried, and that he doesn’t need soldier Cas, but rather the Cas who is kind and compassionate. That Dean will use his words right this time because Cas needs to hear them.

**The Prophet**

As it turns out being a prophet in Supernatural sucks. You have no say in it and chances are pretty big you end up dead. It is interesting however that it specifically requires a human soul to read a tablet, because the soul works as a filter. The tablets are the most powerful objects in the Supernatural universe and yet only humans can read them.

I also think that Cas’s first offer to kill Donatello was perhaps the kindest choice. There was no way to help him, as his soul was gone, and he was a danger to himself and others. It is a situation without a right choice, no matter what you do.

As for the spell we know that next week’s episode will show Sam and Dean hunting down one of the ingredients, but I don’t think they will get all of them, especially not the archangel grace, so how will they end up in Scooby world in 13x16? We will see.

I’m glad we saw Mary and Jack return this week, as well as Team Free will. Basically everything that isn’t the Sam-and-Dean-show, which we will return to next week *sigh*

Until then, so long and good night, my lovelies.


	21. Thoughts about Spn 13x15

**Thoughts about Spn 13x15**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Between the new season of Jessica Jones, adult responsibilities and a new episode of Supernatural one has to make priorities, which is why it took me a bit longer to watch the episode and write about it. I think overall it was okay, but certainly not among my favourite episodes of this season. It was meant as an homage to Film Noir, and kudos to Amanda Tapping for the way she staged the episode, but the truth is the genre is simply not my cup of tea. Like at all. None of the supporting characters, except for maybe Father Lucca, did resonate with me. On top of that there was a severe lack of women (only one that died as well) and I’m getting more and more tired of the Sam & Dean only episodes. The past proved that they can do better with Motw-episodes as well.

The other thing that through me off was that there were moments where I felt like I was watching two different episodes. Given that it was written by two writers, Singer and Dabb, that might be the reason for it. I don’t know how they worked together, but to me it felt like Singer wrote the first twenty minutes and Dabb the second. Also a quick glance at the SuperWiki tells me that while Singer directed a lot and is the executive producer he hasn’t written a lot of episodes for the show. In fact with this episode only four and all with co-writers. There were several moments where I felt the characterisation was off or that were complete unnecessary to the plot and didn’t feel like something Dabb would write. It is of course only a gut feeling, so.

Anyway, let’s have a closer look.

**‘Cause I gotta have faith**

Faith was the central theme of the episode (and maybe even the season), and between all the shootouts and ridiculous side characters the most interesting aspect of the episode. It all came down to the point that the world isn’t a perfect place, even without monsters in it, and the faith Sam and Dean have in saving it. There is also a talk about methods here, where Sam is not okay to be a thief in order to get what they want. I think this was more a response to 13x14, where Cas thought the end would justify the mean. Which is a way of thinking we have seen Sam adapt multiple times (season 4, season 10). Either way it felt odd Sam would express his discomfort to steal something, coming from the same guy who taught Claire credit card fraud.

Father Lucca was the epitome of a good man, or as we later learn a most holy man. Sam is tired of working with the bad guys, so his decision to help the Father instead turns out to be right one in the end, as he was the only one who was able to give Sam and Dean what they needed. You could say Chuck works in mysterious ways.

I really like the little speech Father Lucca gave, so here it is in its entirety:

> _It’s not about luck son, it’s about effort. All the time I hear people saying the world’s not perfect, and they’re right, it’s not. But do you use that as an excuse? Do you use it to excuse your own sins? Your failings and your laziness. Do you use it to give a bad man power because the world is not perfect? Or do you work? Do you try and improve things in whatever way you can? Guys, the world will never be perfect. But if good men do good things, it can be better. Every day can get better._

This works well together with what Sam said later. The difference of course is that Sam thinks he is not doing enough, that Sam always believes he has to save the world, has to kill every monster, in order to change things. He thinks in absolutes. That is why he was ready to sacrifice himself in 8x23, because it would have closed the gates of hell. That is why he was willing to work with the BMoL in season 12 because they promised a world without monsters. What Father Lucca says though is different. He believes that every little good thing a good man does will change the world. You don’t have to save the world to make it a better place, every little act helps. And if that didn’t remind you of Misha and his philosophy of Random Acts that I don’t know what. Also giving an evil man power, I couldn’t help but thinking of Trump. He is the president for a little more than a year, and I see people getting tired to fight his administration. I see people getting tired to fight for gun control. Getting tired to read the news, because at times it seems like the world is beyond saving. I get it, I’ve been there. But it is not. Every little thing helps.

The conversation at the end felt like endgame. Again, Sam is willing to give his life in order to save the world. It is the kind of ending I hope we won’t get, because Sam (or Dean or Cas or Jack or Mary) shouldn’t feel like they need to sacrifice themselves. They have given enough. They deserve some happiness. Given the episode was written by the two current showrunners it could mean we are heading towards the end however.

One last thing about faith: when Dean and Father Lucca talk about God in the car Dean says he believes, only to correct himself into saying he knows. But believing and knowing are two different things. Faith means to believe in something even though you have no knowledge if it even exists. Dean didn’t believe before he had proof that angels and God exists. And yet he ends the episode saying he has faith. Maybe not in God, but in themselves. Sam however has no faith. It is the opposite of the season started, where Sam had faith but Dean didn’t. I wonder what changed that *coughs*.

**All the other things:**

\- I know it was meant that way, but every character except Father Lucca felt like a comic book villain. The mafia boss even had a cat. It felt ridiculous, and I admit I wasn’t a huge fan of it.

\- Another thing that felt weird to me: the choral music over the shootout.

\- Things that felt off to me and I believe Singer wrote: 1) the internet is (not just) for porn; 2) Dean flirting with a random woman, with Sam reminding him that they are on a case, which added zero to the plot and felt like the characterisation of someone who hasn’t seen a single episode of this show in ten years; 3) that Dean needed Sam’s help to get out of the handcuffs, because Dean wouldn’t know how to get out of them without keys or because he wouldn’t bring the right tools to do it for a case, both things that are not true.

\- Sam knows the difference between “us” and “me”. Please explain this concept to your brother.

\- The whole “I would torture and murder anyone who steals the impala”-scene. Iknow it was meant for comic relief, I just didn’t think it was funny.

\- If Sam would have written himself as a price on the paper, Mrs. Atwood would have given him the skull. Just saying.

That’s it. Looking forward to the next episode, even though, given they wrote the episode a year in advance, I don’t suspect there will be a lot of this season’s themes in it. Watching the promo however I have two questions: 1) We only see Sam & Dean getting zapped into the TV, how did Cas end up in Scooby World? 2) How come they have a television BUT STILL NO SOFA?

Until then, I’m off to watch some Jessica Jones (which you should as well, it is a great show).


	22. Thoughts about Spn 13x16

**Thoughts about Spn 13x16**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Ok, alright… I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS! As a Dean-girl I feel emotional attacked… in a groovy way, but nevertheless attacked. Even though this episode wasn’t written by our usual suspects I feel like they spent a lot time in the Dean meta section of tumblr.com. Of course, given that the episode was written a year in advance it doesn’t add a lot to the ongoing mytharc (except that Cas has the fruit from the tree of life and is married now… wtf?), but it was a great character piece. And unlike the brothers I do love the meta episodes, so there is that.

So let’s have a closer look.

(I usually write my episode reviews using a transcript for the episode, but there isn’t one online yet, so I probably forget half the things I want to talk about)

**The loss of innocence**

To me that was the major theme of the episode. Because to Dean Scooby Doo represents his childhood, and a world where, unlike the real world, the monsters were not real. I remember seeing this show as a child, and how Velma always was my favourite character, because she always tried to solve the mystery with logic. The fact that the monsters were never real but just bad guys in masks was always a relief for me. But imagine Dean watching this show, Dean who knows better, and wishes this could be his reality. And then there is the fact that no matter where they were Scooby Doo was always on the TV, one of the few constants in Dean’s life at the time. Dean’s love for television is based on this, that every crappy motel had a TV, showing the same shows and movies all over again, creating a safe place for him.

Therefore it is no surprise that Dean doesn’t want the Scooby gang to learn the truth about monsters. He wants them to remain pure, to let them live in the ignorance he never had as a child. The real world of course is catching up on them, as this Scooby Doo is created by a child who is trapped in his own horror story. Suddenly they are real bodies, real injuries (Shaggy breaks his arm) and we get a sexed up Daphne. At first however the Scooby gang ignores what is going on; they seem to be unaffected by the bodies. And I think it is because they are not part of their story. Scooby Doo is made for children; the horrors of the real world have no place in there. When they do learn the truth however it immediately leads them to an existential crisis, where they suddenly start to question everything. They are not made for the real world. And I’m glad that by the end of the episode Sam, Dean and Cas convince them they have been right all along: monsters are not real. (Though I would love to see some fan art of the Scooby gang as hunters)

From a meta point of view I think the episode made a comment about reality and truth. The Scooby gang couldn’t handle the reality and truth of our world (or you know the Supernatural world). They were not made to fight real monsters. In the same way Sam and Dean couldn’t hide in the innocent world of Scooby Doo. They are not made for that either, and the horrors of their world follow them. As this season is all about different worlds and portals to them this is a warning not to meddle with them. Billie warned Dean about the consequences it would have to the universe. We already saw last season the traumatic effect it had on Mary to be brought back; she is a woman out of her time, and the choices she made because of it had horrible consequences. I’m sure that by the end of the season we will have characters from other universe in our main universe, screwing up the balance of the entire universe. Different realities means a different set of rules after all.

**Fanboy Dean**

Dean has seen every episode of Scooby Doo, multiple times, and even years later he knows all the titles… Basically Dean’s relationship to Scooby Doo is our relationship to Supernatural… ahem. (Does he write meta though? Fanfic? I need answers) He also has some strong opinions on Daphne and Fred. And look, Dean hitting on Daphne was a bit much, but I wouldn’t give it too much credit. For one thing this episode wasn’t written by our writers and second, just as everything else regarding Scooby Doo, I think Dean’s affection for Daphne is innocent. She had been his (animated) childhood crush, and that is the way I see his interactions with her. What is more interesting to me is his dislike for Fred because… Fred is too perfect? All I’m saying is that I used to dislike female characters, especially love interests, as well, seeing them as stupid Mary Sues, until I had my bi awaking and realized I had giant crushes on them instead (it is a better way to watch things, trust me). In the end Dean accepts that Fred isn’t that bad after all, and his little ascot in the end is to me a reference to both Daphne and Fred. Also, the mentioning of the Cartwright twins…. don’t know if he meant the twins he had sex with in 3x01 with that (there was also a Scooby Doo reference in that episode), but there is a lot of meta out there wondering if the twins back then had been a man and a woman. Given all the Dean/Daphne/Fred subtext I think the mentioning of the threesome Dean once had is deliberate. (Then again the whole “boys and girls sleep in separated rooms” was pretty gay if you ask me)

I also loved Velma and Sam, and that in the end Sam was the one getting a kiss. And that Cas made new friends (if Sam ever gets a dog Cas will now fully support him, just saying). Speaking of Cas, I love that technically that didn’t have to include him in the episode, but they did anyway. You know, as the third lead and all *coughs* Also his entry might be my second favourite after 4x01.

**Some other things:**

\- Between Dean referencing “Frozen” and wearing a night gown I love how he officially no longer gives a fuck. Let it go indeed.

\- The Dean cave: How come it took him five years to create this room? I still love it however, though it needs a sofa.

\- I love that the villain in the end was an unscrupulous real estate developer.

\- And of course the Gabriel reference. Seeing how this episode was written a year in advance I wonder if they took the idea from bringing Gabriel back from here? Could be.

Overall I really liked this episode, the meta nature of it and of course Dean, living his dream.


	23. Thoughts about Spn 13x17

**Thoughts about Spn 13x17**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Well, that was very… lovecraftian. I’ve never been a huge fan of his work, but it turns out I liked those elements. For the most parts however this episode felt like it was there to hammer down the themes of the season (things that look like other things) and to do a lot of foretelling of things that are yet to come. At least from a meta point of view there were no real surprises here, but rather a confirmation of things we have already written about and that are likely to happen. It is still a solid episode, but without any new insight. But then again at this point of the season they have to finish the themes and stories they started and wrap everything up, so it makes sense.

Like always, let’s take a closer look.

**The Goddess of Tentacle Porn**

Other than the fact that Sandy turned out to be a God from another dimension she did reminded me a lot of Mary (especially before her true identity was revealed). She had the same hairstyle as Mary, wore Winchester plaid and her human name, Sandy, is a diminutive of Sandra, which is Mary’s second name. She seemed to be a women out of her time, trying to get adjusted to the future, and both women were victims of the Men of Letters. I’m not sure if this might indicate that Mary turns out to be not who we think she is.

Things that look like other things has been the most prominent theme of the season. We had a shapeshifting villain (Asmodeus), actual shapeshifters, ghouls, doppelgängers (Kaia), and people pretending to be someone else (Miriam, Anael, ghost kid from last week etc). However I don’t think Mary is going to be someone she isn’t. Jensen confirmed that he is going to play a different character than Dean, and everyone’s (including mine) gut reaction was Michael. And the fact that the Tentacle Goddess chose him as a host kinda confirms this theory/is a huge foretelling. And let’s not forget the part of the story where our Goddess was separated from her lover through a rift. The way Den was separated from Cas in 12x23. Or Claire from Kaia in 13x10. But nothing to see here. Serious though, this either confirms that we were meant to read these two incidents as romantic and/or it tells us we will see another situation like this again.

And exactly this theory – that Dean says “yes” to Michael and comes back as someone else through the rift – is the reason why it makes sense that Dean and Ketch were the ones who ended up in apocalypse-world. Because at a first glance it doesn’t. Saving Mary (and later also Jack) had been Sam’s mission all season long. Of course Dean cares about them as well and is desperate to bring them back – but it is not his story as much at is Sam’s. However it is possible Dean (or Michael) returns without Mary and Jack and in the end it is still Sam who saves them, getting his win. And Cas as well is tied to the apocalypse world, as he made it his mission to protect Jack.

So why Dean and Ketch? As for Dean, as I said, it could give Michael an opportunity to get in our world without anyone noticing, using Dean as his vessel. And Ketch? Honestly I was surprised they brought him back this season, because I felt that his story was finished by the end of season 12. The only reason to do so is to give him a redemption arc. Which this episode confirmed, by letting Asmodeus tell us exactly this. And I think Ketch’s redemption is tied to Mary. She is the one he hurt the most and she is the only one I think he ever cared about. And as redemption in the world of “Supernatural” usually means to sacrifice yourself I think it is very likely that Ketch sacrifices himself in order to save Mary. The apocalypse world and the rescue of Mary and Jack is tied to Sam, and a lesser degree to Cas, so the question is what purpose is there in the narrative for Dean and Ketch? I do believe there is a good reason why these two travelled there, and also that it is not the last time we see this world.

And of course this episode reminded us that Dean doesn’t want anyone he cares about (Sam, Cas) to get hurt again. He didn’t want Sam to return alone to the MoL chapterhouse and didn’t want him to come with him to the other world because he can’t afford the thought of losing him.

**The archangel formerly known as Gabriel**

Everyone who speculated that Asmodeus used Gabriel’s grace to give himself new powers (like shapeshifting)… congratulations, you were right. I wonder however how long Gabriel had been Asmodeus’s prisoner? We first saw him (and his powers) in 13x02, but technically it could be at any point since 5x19 (if the Gabriel we saw in 9x18 was indeed just part of Metatron’s illusion). He seemed scared to the point where he was barely recognizable to who he used to be. And he still hasn’t said a word. So…. Could it be Gabriel isn’t Gabriel after all? Yes, we saw the grace, but why does it give Asmodeus shapeshifting powers, when we never saw any angel possessing this power? I don’t know where this thought is going, and who else it could be, but for the minimalistic chance that I am right I’m writing it down to say “I told you so”.

Some other questions: does Gabriel still have his wings? Which archangel’s grace did they use in 1925? And how come the sticky notes on Sam’s shirt didn’t fell of? (The real magic of the episode)

Until next time.

 


	24. Thoughts about Spn 13x18

**Thoughts about Spn 13x18**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

This week on “how much plot can we cram into 40 minutes of television?” – the answer might surprise you. And look, there was a lot that I liked about this episode, but there was enough going on for at least two episodes. I especially felt that the Lucifer storyline was completely unnecessary and weirdly unconnected to the rest of the episode. And in general mytharc-episodes are always more plot-driven than motw-episodes, but ever since BuckLemming write the majority of the mytharc-episodes it is hard to keep track of everything. But as usual, let’s take a closer look.

**A woman’s place is in the resistance**

Ok, here we go:

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARLIE!!!!!!!!!

I mean really, ever since the moment they introduced multiple universe we were all waiting for this particular character to come back (and Eileen, just saying). And in season fan fiction, where they bring back ALL the characters, nothing is impossible. Which is kind of the problem. I mean I am thrilled to see Charlie again, even though I feel conflicted that the writers who killed her in the first place brought her back. But starting with 12x23 we have now a pretty long list of characters they brought back: Bobby, Cas, Ketch, Rowena, Kevin, Gabriel and now Charlie. And even though Supernatural is known for bringing dead characters back they usually do it in form of flashbacks or as ghosts. And just as character deaths should have a purpose other than being a motivator for the brothers to get revenge/go to a dark place, the “resurrection” of a dead character should be more than just fan service. Death in fiction should be meaningful, and by bringing a dead character back you risk to take this meaning away. I feel that especially true for Gabriel’s return, because his death was meaningful, he did sacrifice himself for humanity, it was a perfect ending for his arc, and 9x18 left it entirely open if he was still alive or not. By now though it seems however like we get a repetition of season 5 where Gabriel refuses to help, only to (hopefully) return in the last moment.

In general I think instead of killing off characters especially as a plot device and then bringing them back later as fan service they should let their characters live, to give them time to grow and to develop, giving them a life and purpose of their own, the way they did with Jody, because in the end it makes a better story.

But going back to Charlie. I had hope for a minute it might be our Charlie who thanks to Oz magic transported herself in another universe. However the fact that this is a different Charlie makes me think she will stay in her universe, trying to rebuild it, but at the same time it gives Dean some closure that he could save another version of his friend. In general the idea of meeting AU-characters is interesting, as we know that they never met the Winchesters, and we only know those characters through the Winchesters. They are different but also in some ways the same, because they had lives of their own. Bobby is still a hunter, because he was one long before he met his boys. Charlie still fights the good fight, because she had already been doing this in our world (as a hacker, but still once exposed to the world of the Supernatural she becomes a hunter in every universe). The biggest difference is then Kevin, who of course is still a prophet, but without the Winchesters to take care of him, falls into the arms of angels, and helps them, having no real choice left.

Ketch was right in assuming that Charlie broke Dean’s heart, though in a different way. It is also interesting that refers to her death as being butchered (at least BuckLemming are self-aware) just as she is about to get butchered again. It is a really messed up situation between Dean and Charlie, because he is projecting his feelings for the Charlie he knew on this basically stranger. He is afraid to lose her again, but AU-Charlie is right in telling him that this is not his call.

Also speaking of her name, I was surprised she still went by “Charlie Bradbury” in the other universe, as this was only one of her many aliases. Sam & Dean stuck with it, because she happened to use that name when they first met, and I think at some point Charlie adopted that name because she saw Sam & Dean as her family. But why AU-Charlie? Why no other alias? Why not Celeste? And why did ask Sam “Charlie Bradbury”? How many Charlies do you know, Sam?

**You had me at “impossible & stupid”**

I admit I was the biggest fan of bringing back Ketch, but I did enjoy his story in the last two episodes (and I like seeing David Haydn Jones). The only way to bring him back and to make sense is to give him a redemption arc, which is exactly what they are doing, and I expect him to sacrifice himself for either Charlie or Mary. Now that the BMoL no longer exists (I think) he has no more purpose and no more duty to hide behind. He has to face his choices and the consequences and he feels regret. Because as he told Asmodeus he still has a soul. And unlike Dean he likes to be prepared when he goes in an unknown area, which honestly is the better plan. Because every plan is better than no plan. Having Ketch on the other side is a tactical advantage (unless Mary kills him again, which I wouldn’t blame her for).

We also learned a bit more about the other universe. Because as the angels talked about crimes against the archangel Michael I wondered how the humans outside of the resistance live. I imagine a lot of them were forced to become vessels and the rest are slaves. Fun times.

Speaking of fun times…

**~~Hookers~~ Porn stars & Monte Carlo**

I’m not sure how to feel about Lucifer. I always found the characters to be interesting, but I could never get behind Sabriel, because to me Gabriel’s behaviour towards was always abusive. The way they ended his story though was perfect. They gave him a redemption arc in the way Supernatural knows it best, by sacrificing himself for the greater good. This is the reason I wasn’t as thrilled as others when they brought him back, because learning that he faked his death all along takes away the meaning. Yes he helped, but unlike Sam, Dean and Cas he was not willing to risk anything for it and returned to his old life of being not involved. That doesn’t mean he deserved what happened to him, but it takes away his character development. As seen by the end of the episode where he again chooses not to help, knowing that the next apocalypse is waiting to happen. This time however his abuse plays a bigger part in refusing to help. If he does change his mind in the last minute however it will be just a repetition of season 5, as a mentioned, so I hope they do anything but that. Still, right know only Gabriel and Ketch know about the archangel blade, and with both Lucifer and Michael as a threat it would a shame not to use it again.

People have already discussed about Sam’s “I need you” towards Gabriel, a big parallel to 8x17. Both times the angels are under someone else’s control: Cas was under Naomi’s control, Gabriel is still haunted by Asmodeus. Both times the “I need you” breaks them free. Both angels however leave in the end, though Gabriel only to protect himself, whereas Cas wanted to protect the angel tablet.

I think Sam’s “I need you” comes from a different place, and that is simply because Sam has no problem to distinguish between “we” and “I”. Dean hides his own emotions behind a “we”; admitting to Cas that he personally needed him was a huge step. Sam however is not afraid to express his own emotions.

In the end they took a risk with using Gabriel’s grace to heal him instead of holding it back to open the rift again. From a moral point it did belong to him anyway and they shouldn’t have used it without his permission. I do get Dean’s anger however. As I don’t think that Gabe will give some of his grace willingly I wonder if they make him to an antagonist towards the Winchesters now.

Also, goodbye Asmodeus. You won’t be missed.

**The storyline I honestly couldn’t care less about**

The only good thing about the Lucifer storyline was seeing Anael aka Danneel giving him shit and calling him a failure. I don’t think we learned anything new about Lucifer here. He is not his father and he never will be. He neither was the powers (to create) nor does he care about ruling heaven and humanity (what was it with the exorcism scene???). He only wants to be worshiped, not loved, the way people did when he used Vince as a vessel.

He is still powerful enough to threat other angels (and to kill them I suppose) but once they learn he made empty promises they will turn on him. I would love to see Anael as a new ruler over heaven, however I don’t think Danneel has the time to take a bigger role.

Next week however we will see what Rowena is up to and Billie returns. The same Billie who warned Dean not to cross over to other universes, which he didn’t tell Sam. Should be interesting.


	25. Thoughts about Spn 13x19

**Thoughts about Spn 13x19**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

That was… a really good episode, from pretty much every angle. I found both Rowena’s story and what we learned about heaven insightful and I have a feeling that some of the themes will not only become important in this year’s season finale but next season as well. Compared to last week this episode felt slower, less crammed with plot, and with more focus on the characters, especially Rowena, who becomes more and more one of my favourites.

But as always, let’s have a closer look.

**El Tango de Rowena**

In an overall great episode to me Rowena’s story, Ruth’s acting and Steve Yockey’s writing for her was without questions the best part. She had always been a fascinating character, but I think they wasted a lot of her potential in her first seasons when her story focussed entirely around Crowley. Ironically Crowley turns out to be her motivation in this episode as well, but in an entirely different way, that gave her character more depth and complexity, and a road to redemption, which I like way better than making her the next big bad.

Rowena is now powerful enough to kill people before their time, which she does in order to attract Death (does that mean you can’t kill someone if it wasn’t their time to die anyway?). Interesting enough she chooses to kill people who did horrible things on their time on earth. She justifies her killings in saying those people deserved death. And that is the first sign that shows that she changed, because she doesn’t kill random people, or innocents, but rather “bad” people. Old Rowena never seemed to care about the human lives she took.

The reason for getting Death’s attention then is to get her son back. It is interesting then that Dean thinks of Crowley, but Rowena corrects him saying it is Fergus she wants back. A name she used to torment her son, but that now means something different. Because Rowena doesn’t care about the king of hell, but rather about the child she abandoned, about the broken man who was willing to sell his soul and became a demon in the end.

Only time can tell if her power will corrupt her, because a power like hers always comes at a price in the world of _Supernatural_. So far though she is right that it gives her clarity; she realizes that in all those years seeking out more power she lost what really matters: her family. No power in the world can take away her fear of Lucifer or give her back her son. In a season where so many characters came back from the dead (as their real selves or as AU-versions) Rowena has to accept death and that they are some things that cannot be changed. That was a really powerful message, and I wonder if Sam and Dean will have to accept some things as given in the near future (maybe Mary chooses not to return?). I talked last week about how bringing so many characters back from the dead bears the risk to cheapen their original death, and how death itself loses its meaning. _Supernatural_ has always been a show were nothing was impossible, and death had never meant the end. Still I rather see Rowena learning to accept her son’s death and her regret about her choices, than yet another dead character coming back.

Another aspect of Rowena’s story is her need for redemption. Because that is a pretty strong theme this season as well. Ketch is looking for redemption in another universe, Gabriel thanked Sam & Cas for his redemption arc, and for a hot minute we were afraid Lucifer would be getting his redemption arc as well (but unlike Ketch and Rowena he never showed real regret, so I guess that is off the board). Mary tries to redeem herself as well in the apocalypse world next to Jack, who all season long tries to prove that he can be good. And Rowena, Ketch and Gabriel have all been in the position to be both abuser and the abused.

Thanks to Death’s notebooks (the, you know, _Death Notes_ *wink*) we and Rowena as well know now that it will be Sam who kills her in the end. It still leaves open how it is going to happen, but Rowena not killing Sam when she had the chance shows again how much she changes (and Billie just knew because she could look right through her, the way she could with Dean in 13x05). In the end Rowena almost took relief in knowing it would be Sam who kills her. Because it does rule out Lucifer and because she knows that if he has to Sam won’t kill her in a cruel way, but as fast and painless as he can. It might also be an insurance for her to know that if she ever oversteps Sam will take her out (the same way Dean promised Jack to kill him if he went dark side, and how Moc!Dean made Cas promise to take him out). Perhaps in the end Rowena will ask Sam to kill her when her times has come; at the moment she seems too powerful for anyone  to kill her, so it might only happen on her terms.

We are also once again reminded of the natural order and how one death out of time can cause a butterfly effect. I wonder if the resurrection of Mary back in season 12 had the same effect then: a life in the universe that wasn’t supposed to be there. I am also pretty sure that some people will cross the rift again, so we will have more people trapped in the wrong universe, which will cause some major unbalance. Next to the threat of thousand of ghosts on earth. Fun times.

And then of course Death’s “see you soon” towards Dean… so far we all speculate he will get possessed, so what does that mean? Seeing how Death tries to keep her hands clean and is the last truly neutral force left it might mean something else than Dean dying. We will see.

**Angels charging (please don’t interrupt)**

First of all there was no need to give Dean and Cas some private conversation, ending in worried husband Dean, but Yockey wrote it anyway, because he can. Second Cas said “our family” when he talked to Rowena and I have a lot of feelings about this.

Once in heaven I couldn’t help but wonder where Lucifer and Anael were, and if Cas actually knows that Lucifer is in charge now. The flickering lights indicate that Lucifer is no longer in heaven, the question is if he will return though. And speaking of archangels, finding Gabriel is one thing, but somehow I can’t picture him in heaven or willing to help out. Which in the end would leave heaven desperate enough to accept AU-Michael as their new ruler. And as Lucifer had no knowledge/power to create new angels I wonder if either Gabriel or Michael could do it. Which would only leave God and perhaps Jack to do the job.

I also wonder how many angels there were to begin with. Hundreds? Thousands? It is hard to imagine something as eternal as heaven to end, even as Naomi reminded that everything ends (which was a very meta comment in its own way). Especially as the consequences would result in all the souls in heaven coming back as ghosts. Heaven, the natural order, death are all aspects of the world as a whole and destroying or interrupting one can lead to horrible results. As Billie said in 13x05 “ _this whole multi-versal quantum construct we live in, it’s like a house of cards_ ”.

Also welcome back Naomi. I don’t know how they explain her new hair or if they accept we just roll with it, but at least her explanation why she is back makes sense. She had always been a fascinating character, because I don’t see her as much as villain, but rather as someone who tried to do her job and tried to clean up heaven’s mess. She is working for heaven’s best interest, so I can imagine her agreeing to let AU-Michael take over.

And that is all for today. I see both the end of heaven/release of the ghosts and the interrupting of the natural order as abstract threats that might play a bigger role in the season finale/next season. And as always that makes me both terrified and exited.


	26. Thoughts about Spn 13x20

**Thoughts about Spn 13x20**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

It is that time of the year where, as they say, the plot begins to thicken. Only three episodes left we are heading to the grand finale, so almost everything that happened in this week’s episode can be seen as a foretelling of what we can expect. Which unfortunately is neither rainbows or kittens, but when did this show ever? That being said it was a neat episode and for the first time since his comeback I had fun watching Gabriel. I liked what we learned about his past and how they moved his character forward. A quick update on all the feels, apocalypse world version. But in the end the most interesting part to me was what this episode told us about Sam and Dean’s current state and what it might mean for their future.

But as always, let’s have a closer look.

**Wings & Things**

Starting at the apocalypse world, where we learn that since the last time we saw them Jack made good on his promise and started to fight the angels. We already know that he is more powerful than an average angel, so it’s not surprising that so far he has been successful. Back in 13x02 we learned that Nephilim can become more powerful than their angelic parents, which in Jack’s case would be an archangel. So technically he could be powerful enough to beat Michael, but storywise it would be too easy. Besides as Mary reminded us Jack is currently almost too confident in his powers, a little reminder of season 12 where hubris was the downfall of the BMoL. Mary as well has learned her lesson the hard way and warns Jack that his recklessness is what will lead him to make mistakes.

Their whole relationship was portrayed as that of a mother and a son, and Mary later textually confirmed that by calling Jack “her boy” (while also reminding us that she saw Cas as her boy as well and still thinks he is dead). I really liked seeing them that way, because I think they give each other what they need. Jack is acting much more than a child than Sam and Dean. Because technically he still is, even if he doesn’t look like it. He needs guidance, he needs support and someone that loves him and cares about him. Kelly had been the empty space in his life, that neither Sam and Dean or Cas could fill. He looked up to them as role models, but Mary fills in a different role, that of a mother.

Mary on the other hand sees the other world as a place where she can redeem herself. The first step was to realize that not making the deal had horrible consequences in this world, that she was a victim as well, and that there was never really a right and a wrong choice. Now, just as Jack, she sees her purpose in trying to save this world. She knows that Jack needs her, as the mother he never had, while at the same he replaces the children she lost when she died. Mary’s relationship with her sons became so estranged because she felt unable to act like a mother to them. They no longer needed a mother, at least not in the way they remembered her. Mary had been taken away the chance to see her sons grow up and to raise them. But with Jack she has been given another chance.

The other interesting thing about this storyline was the return of Kevin. I already talked in my episode review on 13x18 about the different characters we met so far in the other world, and how much they changed or stayed the same without knowing the Winchesters. Both Bobby and Charlie are pretty much the same. Bobby is still a hunter because he always has been one. Charlie still fights the good fight, because she already did that (though in a different way) before the apocalypse happened. Kevin though is a different story. He is still the same kid who just wanted to go to school and was not ready for the supernatural to be a part of his life. But in our universe the Winchester take him in and that makes all the difference. Their relationship had never been easy, but in the end they became a family. They gave Kevin something to fight for, even though he had still lost his friends and (seemingly) his mother. In the apocalypse world Kevin became what he was meant to be in our world as well, an instrument of the angels. I don’t think that any of his actions in the other world were out of character. This is how Kevin would have reacted, all hope lost. And even then he decided not to wait for Bobby and the other survivors, to lessen the body count.

This draws a pretty good picture of the Michael we will be facing very soon. He doesn’t simply kill, he does it in the most sadistic way, with the only attempt to break Jack. Jack on the other hand proves to be a real Winchesters when he wonders what his purpose is if he can’t save everyone. Which is pretty close to Dean’s current state of mind.

Some other things:

\- Mary mentions that with all the new people coming to their camp they will soon run out of supplies. This could lead to conflicts within the camp, but it also tells us that by beating Michael and the angels the job isn’t done. They have to rebuild their entire world.

\- Mary tells Kevin that heaven is just full of memories, that none of it is real. This is a pretty stark contrast to the suicidal Mary we saw last season, who longed for her own heaven. It is also possible that the dream state we saw in 12x22 was her own heaven and that by letting go of it she left behind her desire to go there again as well.

\- It is implied that Michael in the other world decides who goes to heaven and who doesn’t. Given that most angels in the other world fight down on earth it is possible only the bare minimum of angels and new souls stay in heaven, to keep everything running.

\- There is probably a lot to say about the image of Jack’s wings protecting Mary and her unconscious body in his arms, which were all pretty biblical, so I let some other people talk about it.

**Gods & Odds**

As I said I liked Gabriel in this episode better than I did in 13x18. His scenes felt more lighthearted and closer to the character we saw in season 5, while at the same time the Winchesters had a chance to call him out on his past actions and to give the character another chance to change.

Gabriel, who has seen “Kill Bill” one too many times, is on a quest for revenge. After Asmodeus he tries to track down the norse Gods who once sold him to the evil colonel. Others have already pointed out that everyone seems to face their abusers this season. Cas had to face Naomi and Sam and Rowena have yet to face Lucifer (which given the promo will happen next episode). The question is how one deals with the trauma and the abuse they had to suffer through. Are you ever able to truly let go? Can you only rest if the one responsible for your pain got his/her punishment? In 13x12 Sam told Rowena that no matter how powerful she will be she won’t feel any less vulnerable and helpless facing Lucifer. And yet by the end of the episode he gave her the tools to her full power back, hoping she might be able to kill Lucifer.

Sam and Dean learned the hard way that revenge won’t make you feel better. There is no satisfaction in it, there is no healing of old wounds. And yet Sam bonds with Rowena, bonds with Gabriel, because they both have become victims the same way he did. He understands their need to do something, anything, to get some sort of control back. I do hope Sam and Rowena can end Lucifer, because I am beyond tired of his storyline, but chances are he lives at least long enough to meet his son. The real answer how to face their trauma however has already been given last week by Billie/Death: “ _Sometimes life is unfair and sometimes we lose things and sometimes we make mistakes. And some of these things can never be fixed no matter how powerful you become. Some things just are, and everyone has to live with that_ ”. Let’s hope both Sam and Rowena have listened.

The reveal that Gabriel impersonated the real Loki did mostly fit with the theme of things looking like other things, or in this case two things who looked the same. And apparently demi-gods are powerful enough that they can transform vessel into their own doppelgängers? The more you know. Apart from that the real Loki had two narrative purposes. For one he told Dean that despite the fact that his father Odin despised him he still wants to revenge his father’s death, making it clear that Dean of all people would understand. There has been a big negative space all season long with mentions of fathers and more precise John, the same way season 11 had been build around Mary and her absence and we all know how that ended. I’m not sure how and in which way they could build in John, though I’m not a huge fan of the character and I rather they wouldn’t at all.

The other thing is what Loki told Gabriel: that he lived for pleasure and stood for nothing. It is the same thing that Sam and Dean accused him off, that when they needed him he ran away. Gabriel got his revenge, but it didn’t make him feel better, the way Dean knew it wouldn’t. But after he starts to wonder if there was some truth in Loki’s words, if it is finally time to give his life a meaningful purpose. This is what it looked like back in season 5, where Gabriel had seemingly sacrificed himself in order to stop the apocalypse. It is why I wasn’t very fond of bringing his character back, because it took away the meaning of this death, that had never been real in the first place. Gabriel is now on a journey we thought he had already been. It is a weird repeat of a story that had seem already finished, so I’m still a bit conflicted as to why they had to bring the character back in the first place.  

Let’s talk for a brief moment about the other scene I know everybody is already talking about. Gabriel talking about his time in Monte Carlo and of course the porn stars. We see two versions of this story, one with the porn starts, one without. It is possible Gabriel simply forget to mention them the first time and what we see then is how it happened. The other interpretation however is that the version without them is how Sam pictured the scene and the other version with the porn starts is how Dean imagined it (which would be a callback to 2x15, the first time we saw Gabriel, where we had the story told from two different perspectives as well). Say the porn star version is Dean’s imagination, then it features a male porn star. With dark hair, in an ascot. Flirting not with the flamboyant brother but rather with the manly bearded dude. I’m sorry but there is no heterosexual interpretation for this.

The for me most important scene however was the last scene. Sam calls out Dean for going alone after Loki, after he already left Sam behind to go with Ketch into the other world. Dean falls back to treating Sam like a child instead of his equal. With Lucifer free and a Michael from another world ready to conquer our world it seems like a second apocalypse is on the horizon. This brings back Dean’s worst memory: Sam’s death and his time in hell. Back then Dean could do nothing to prevent this as it was the only option to save the world. But he can’t get through it again so Dean is willing to rather give his own life than to let anyone he cares about die again.

In 12x23 Dean lost everything and there was nothing he could about it as well. Instead of waiting for another tragedy to happen it seems Dean now takes matters into his own hands. Just like Jack he feels like a failure if he can’t protect everyone.

The whole scene felt to me as if the show is starting to prepare us what will happen in the finale, which given all spoilers is very likely to be Michael!Dean. Dean acts reckless, he even says he doesn’t care about his own life, as long as his family is safe. He falls back into old destructive patterns, but so does Sam. His promise to die together is the same inability to let go of his brother that Dean shows. Dean can’t lose Sam so he rather dies instead to protect him; Sam can’t lose Dean so he rather dies with him. In the end though we will likely see a reverse “Swan Song”, with the brothers separated, and while not dead one of them will no longer be himself.

Until then though let’s hope next week gives us the ultimate power couple: Gabriel & Rowena! See you then.


	27. Thoughts about Spn 13x21

**Thoughts about Spn 13x21**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Welcome to this week’s episode of ALL THE FEELS. Featuring the hit singles _“I Just Wanna Make Love To You”_ , “ _Another One Bites The Dust”_ and “ _Father & Son_”.

This might as well be Beren’s last episode (if they hopefully pick up “Wayward Sisters”), so he made sure he delivered. And boy, he did! I wasn’t quite sure in which direction the episode would go, but I wasn’t expecting THAT. This episode moved the characters where they needed to be for the big finale, both locally as emotional. As I expect the last two episodes to be rather plot heavy, this episode focused more on the character themselves, their current state of minds, as well as the questions about their future.

But as always, let’s have a closer look!

**Home Alone**

We start the episode with Sam’s dream of his family reunited in the bunker, eating pizza. The scene reminded me of the end of 10x18 and 12x02; both times the family reunion foretold a tragic event (Charlie’s death and Mary choosing to leave her sons). And even though the scene is not real, in the end the one who dreamt it is taken away.

Of course the dream tells us also something about how Sam sees his family. Everyone scolds Dean for his eating habits, but I really think this is more Sam’s view than anyone else’s. Because as Dean said, 7 slices of pizza is not even an entire pie, and he is a grown man. I mean I eat an entire pizza if I want to, so. And then of course there is Cas nagging, but later giving Dean another slice anyway (which interesting enough happens after Sam left the room), which is their usual old married couple behaviour, but this is still how Sam sees them. It is also possible that this little moment actually happened, and Sam integrated the memory into his dream. We also get another mention of John, whose absence in their family dinner is made textual.

In the real world Rowena and Gabriel have both agreed to help Sam & Dean to get their family back, preparing the spell to open the rift. Once again after 13x13 Grace is associated with sex; Gabriel demands some time alone to extract his grace (to Dean’s horror in his room), but then his juice is not strong enough to get it up. The rift of course. To be honest I could have done without all the sexual innuendo, but at least it wasn’t as cringeworthy as when Bucklemming do it.

I was also not even a little bit surprised that Rowena and Gabriel hooked up, I called it. And really they are perfect for each other. They have both been characters who in the past only did what was good in their own interest, who faked their deaths, both also killed by Lucifer, and who are now at a turning point in their lives. Isn’t it interesting that they only met because they both agreed to help the Winchesters, because they have both changed?

Lucifer is then literary haunted by his past, as the two people he killed come back to get him. And by now there is really an incredible long list of characters who want to see him dead, so I hope it is a group effort that kills him in the end.

Rowena is the one left in charge to babysit Lucifer (after Sam made sure she is ok with that, bless his heart) and this is the part where the plot demands certain characters to act a certain way, despite all logic not do so. Because they have carefully avoided to mention that they know where Jack is and of course Rowena could have simply use a spell to silence Lucifer. But as I said the plot demanded that Lucifer would learn about the whereabouts of his son and break free to get him, so here we are.

And then of course we have Rowena who shows that she really changed after all. Because the old Rowena would have gone, wouldn’t have made it her problem that Sam & Dean are trapped in another world. But in a strange twist of destiny they have become the only allies she has left, and just as she couldn’t kill Sam she now can’t leave them behind.

**Strangers In A Strange Land**

The gang lands in the apocalypse world, and it is clear that only Dean has mastered the superhero landing. Gabriel though lands in Cas’s lap and then we get a reaction shot from Dean. Twice. I wonder why that is, but I guess we will never know.

We also learn that angels have a built-in-GPS (convenient) and then we see a short conversation between Cas and Gabriel, where Gabriel learns about heaven’s current situation and Cas suggests that he could help. This could already foretell what role Gabriel could be given next season, if he survives this season, that is. Part of me thinks however that would be too easy, and that the angels might instead turn to AU!Michael for help, as there is still a big chance neither Gabriel or Lucifer will survive this season (Gabriel as part of his redemption arc, Lucifer because he sucks).

I have written in another episode review before that I really like the exploration of the apocalypse world; back in season 5 the concept of the apocalypse was rather abstract, now we see how the world would have evolved from that. We learn that the monsters there, namely the vampires, turn back to an almost animalistic form, caused by starvation (that first vampire did remind me of Nosferatu to be honest). Back in 12x23 we saw a demon in the apocalypse world, full with horns, and now I wonder if it looked like that as a consequence of the apocalypse as well.

The two strangers our team met seemingly didn’t react to the fact that Cas and Gabriel are angels (which ultimately became clear when Cas couldn’t pass the angel warding). They were either too afraid to ask or it does imply that even in the apocalypse world are still some angels left who help humanity.

Then of course the big event that shaped the entire episode and probably the outcome of the season happens: Sam dies. This of course is a reminder of 11x17, the other episode where Sam randomly died (I love how this sentence makes only sense in our fandom). Both episodes are reminders that Sam and Dean can die on any hunt. Yes they are experienced and perhaps better hunters than most, but the risk is always there. 11x17 featured werewolves, now we have vampires, both monsters they faced before, and Sam even says that they faced worse than a nest of vampires. And by now we as the audience, and the Winchesters themselves expect to go out with a big bang.

The difference we see then compared to 11x17 is Dean’s reaction. Back then Dean killed himself in order to bargain with Death to bring Sam back (only to learn that Sam was still alive). This time however he doesn’t. It is Cas who follows Sam and who then tells Dean that Sam is gone and that there is nothing left for them to do. And Dean, heartbroken, trusts Cas on this. Which is huge. But he also knows that Cas would have done anything he could to save Sam.

And it is not just Dean and Cas who have to face Sam’s death, but Mary and Jack as well. Mary who just said last episode that she can’t lose another boy. And Jack who is facing his first real loss (he never had a chance to get to know his mother).

Of course as an audience we already know that Sam would come back somehow, so the question is why kill him in the first place? For one thing to tie him to Lucifer, because this season everyone has to face their abusers and their worst nightmares. Lucifer bringing back Sam from the dead is a dark mirror to Cas bringing back Dean from hell. Sam is just a means to an end for Lucifer to get to his son (though I admit I was worried for a minute that Lucifer wanted Sam to say “yes”). But it means more to Sam, because now he owns his life to his abuser. And just as Rowena he realizes that he can never truly escape Lucifer.

Dean had to experience the death of his brother again, after he admitted last episode that he doesn’t care about his own life as long as Sam is ok. Sam’s death and the return of Lucifer are two of his worst nightmares coming through. By now he is willing to do whatever it takes to kill Lucifer. Even giving his own life… in the hands of someone who had the power to kill Lucifer.

We end with the reunion of Lucifer and Jack, with the big question of how Jack will react to his biological father. We know that in the past he had seemed afraid of Lucifer, had feared his own potential to go dark side. He sees Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary as his family and it is possible his mother has told him about the abuse she had to suffer from Lucifer. And yet I don’t think Jack would kill his father, unless he threatens his chosen family. Jack is too kind, too innocent, someone who wants to believe in the good of everyone, perhaps even his father. I’m really curious how this relationship will develop.

The other two characters they will likely again are Lucifer and AU!Michael. Lucifer already told Sam that they need his help to beat this Michael. So will they make a deal with the devil to kill Michael? Or will they make a deal with Michael to kill Lucifer?  

Only two episodes left and I’m pretty sure Sam’s dream will remain only this, a dream.


	28. Thoughts about Spn 13x22

**Thoughts about Spn 13x22**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

This was… an episode. I don’t really have an opinion on it. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t outstanding either. And strangely enough I got the feeling that not much happened. Or rather the things that did happen were to be expected at this point in story. The one thing however that I noticed is that Bucklemming still have a problem with the pacing. And something that keeps happening with all of their episodes, that I never noticed with any other writer, is that their episodes always feel incredible long, and despite the fact that they try to cram in as much plot/characters as they can at times also incredible boring. Or maybe it is the fact that most of the screentime went to Lucifer, doing what he likes best, talking about himself, but somehow I couldn’t warm up with this episode.

The other thing I noticed is that we end the episode in a relatively happy place. The family is reunited, everyone is safe in the bunker. Last year the penultimate episode ended with a Winchester family hug. We all remember however how season 12 ended, so if there is a pattern to be seen, 13x23 will leave us in tears. I’m scared.

Until then though let’s have a closer look at this week’s episode.

**Make Room For Daddy**

The meeting between Lucifer and Jack has been inevitable all season long. And though Lucifer has been the one actively looking for his son it makes sense that Jack has an interest in meeting his father as well. So far he has only heard stories but he wants to form his own opinion. Naturally Sam, Dean and Cas want to avoid this. They know that if anything Lucifer has his way with words and can be very convincing. We have seen in the past the way he was able to bring several people to say “yes” to him. But with trying to keep Jack away from Lucifer they only play into his cards. Lucifer portrays himself as the victim, the way he always did, and by trying to keep Jack away from his father they confirm this story. I think that Mary, who by now has spent several months with Jack, is right here. It is impossible to keep Lucifer from Jack, and Jack has a right to get to know his father after all. She trusts Jack however to come to his own conclusion about the true nature of Lucifer. Mary knows Jack, knows his good heart, and that Jack in time will see right through Lucifer.

One of the problems is that Sam, Dean, Cas and Gabriel tell Jack how truly evil Lucifer is, but they leave it at this very vague point, without giving him concrete examples. Lucifer has (seemingly) killed Gabriel, killed Cas, tried to kill Kelly, has tortured and abused both Sam and Rowena, and of course killed the later even twice. I’m sure I forgot something, but the point is does Jack know about this? Did they sanitize the stories about Lucifer for Jack, keeping them as vague as possible? Because somehow I doubt Jack would have had an interest in talking to him if he knew about all of this.

I also think we can officially stop worrying about Lucifer getting a redemption arc. There are quite a few characters who did get a redemption arc this season: Ketch, Gabriel, Rowena. What they all have in common is their will to change. Ketch redeemed himself in the other world, risking his own life to help strangers. Both Gabriel and Rowena stopped running away, both stopped acting selfish. And that is exactly what Lucifer is incapable of doing. The entire time he only talks about himself. He never shows responsibility for his actions. Instead he blames humanity, who in his eyes is flawed and weak, and asked to be corrupted. He blames his father. He plays the victim because that is the only role he knows.

In the end it is Gabriel who tells him who he truly is. Someone incapable of love and empathy, a cancer cell that ruined humanity forever. We see that Gabriel’s words do affect Lucifer; he starts crying. But by the end of the episode he once again proves that he has learned nothing. He is willing to let Michael destroy another world, not caring about the humans in it, just to be reunited with his son. And it shows that he doesn’t know a single thing about his son either, because all Jack wants is to keep these people save that Lucifer has now doomed.

Speaking of Michael I still wonder what his goal here is. Does he want to destroy another world? What for? I hope the season finale will give us an answer what Michael really wants. The only way I see Jack working together with Lucifer is also because the two together could be powerful enough to kill Michael.  But will they? Say we get Michael!Dean that could be a reason why Jack won’t kill Michael yet, because he would kill Dean as well. To be honest I rather see Lucifer gone and Michael as the big bad next season.

And then of course there is also heaven’s current situation that will play a role in the next season. Cas suggested Gabriel as a new leader, but it is possible AU!Michael will be in charge next season. He and Jack are the only two powerful enough to create new angels (besides God, but I wouldn’t count on him). The question though is not the power but the “how”. It’s not that a manual for creating new angels is lying around.

I am also not surprised that we saw Gabriel dying again. I’m still not sure why they brought him back in the first place to be honest. His entire arc has been in the end very similar to how his story once seemingly ended in season 5. He stopped running away, took humanity’s side, faced one of his brothers, and paid with his own life, all to help the Winchesters. It is a repeat of his season 5 storyline (minus the torture & abuse), but then again so much about the apocalypse world is a parallel to season 5 and especially 5x04. So much that even Sam & Dean said “We’ve been where you are. Hell, we are you”. We will always end up here.

**There must be some kind of way outta here**

Right at the beginning of the episode Sam and Dean have to face a moral conflict they haven’t really thought about yet: the fate of the people in the apocalypse world. Until now their plan was to get Mary and Jack and bring them back to our world. What they didn’t consider was the fact that by now both Mary and Jack have become part of the resistance, found their purpose in that other world and are not willing to leave their friends behind.

Because I have already seen some hate towards Mary for her decision to stay: she doesn’t act selfish, rather the opposite. She gives up the chance to be reunited with her sons because she couldn’t live with herself if she would abandon the people she fought with over the past months. She gives up her own chance of happiness in order to help others. Which is basically what Sam & Dean have been doing their entire life. Giving up their own chance to live a normal life, to be safe, so that others can.

It is interesting then how different Dean & Sam react. Because Dean is tired of giving up, tired of sacrifices. And we can’t blame him. This season alone he has lost Cas, his mother, Jack, and minutes ago Sam. He sees everything they have lost and it doesn’t match up. This is also another instance of want vs need. Dean says they need Mary, but the truth is that they don’t. They are no longer children and they have lived the biggest part of their lives without a mother. He wants his mother, and that is the difference. Wanting something or someone for your own, acting selfish for once, is not a bad thing, at least not for Dean, who always prioritized everyone else’s needs over his own. It is okay that he for once wants something for himself.

Sam on the other side sees Mary’s perspective. He has been the one suffering the most under her loss, finding her was his win. He should be devastated to learn that she doesn’t want to leave, yet he comes up with a plan. (And you can see Dean doing the maths, coming to the conclusion that with so many people in the bunker, he has to share a bed with Cas now, there is no other way) Overall this has been a positive episode for Sam. Dean takes the blame from him for bringing Lucifer to the camp, telling him there is nothing to apologize for. And he regains some agency towards Lucifer, as he is the one in the end making sure Lucifer won’t come back with them. He also for once wore some nice clothes, so that’s another bonus. And he got to hug Charlie, before he remembered that she doesn’t know him, resulting in one of the cutest Sam scenes we have seen lately.

The other thing that by now was kinda inevitable was that we would see an alternative version of Cas. There had been already some speculation after 13x18 if one of the angels we saw could have been Cas, but it makes sense that Cas has the same vessel, given that Jimmy Novak was a devout man. However… the accent. Which I honestly don’t get? Why would this Cas speak with another accent than our Cas? My first thought was that he sounded Russian, but the term that I have seen the most on my dash by now is “Nazi Cas” (which basically means Hitler’s speaking pattern, with a huge focus on the “r” because the normal German accent doesn’t sound like that). So maybe the accent was used that we would associate the angels in the other world with Nazis? Making a political statement as the US becomes more right-winged every day. I would love to know if this was mentioned in the script or if it was Misha’s choice. Still, I think they could have done without the accent. Different outfit, different behaviour, we would have already knew that this wasn’t our Cas. And remember 4x20? Within seconds we knew it wasn’t Cas talking to Sam & Dean. Misha is a good enough actor that he can do without the accents.

What I love is that they did keep consistent with the AU characters. Bobby and Charlie are pretty much the same as the ones from our world, because the Winchesters didn’t influence them as much. Bobby was already a hunter when he met them (and John), Charlie was always a rebel. Kevin and Cas however were influenced a great deal by Sam and Dean. Cas has fallen in every way imaginable, has rebelled against his angelic family and chosen the Winchesters as his new family time and time again. However we did learn in 8x21 that Cas has always been a rebel, that he never did as he was told. He has never been in fact a perfect soldier. But in that episode we also learned that Naomi brainwashed him multiple times and it is possible that exactly this happened in the other world. Cas was always a rebel, but it took Sam & Dean for him to finally break free from heaven.

The one line that stood out to me was AU Cas saying “Don’t think you are better than me” in reference to Cas supporting humanity. Which is odd considering most angels see humans as weak and flawed. So why would AU Cas think of our Cas as someone above him, knowing our Cas is helping humanity? Is it possible that AU Cas was jealous of our Cas? That he wished he could have been strong enough to step away from heaven as well, to help the humans in his world? I like to believe that AU Cas had some rebellious nature as well, but that centuries of brainwashing resulted in the cold torture machine that we saw.

And AU Cas torturing Charlie by invading her mind mirrors of course the scene where our Cas does the same with the traitor in the camp. The only difference is that our Cas stopped before the damage would be too much. But looking back at 13x14 we know how far he is willing to go to protect the people he loves. AU Cas says they are the same, and in some ways they are. They are both ruthless when it comes to their individual cause. In the end however Cas killing the other version of him, the angelic soldier Cas, was a huge metaphor for Cas killing his old self. Not subtle but nevertheless satisfying.

And that is all for this week. So long and good night.


	29. Thoughts about Spn 13x23

**Thoughts about Spn 13x23**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

And just like that the season is over. Feels like yesterday that 13x01 aired but on the other hand I feel at the same time that this season’s plot was dragged out. I’m still not sure what to make out of this episode. There were a lot of things that I liked, a lot of things I expected to see (though those are not always the same thing), but in the end the finale left me less exited for next season than I hoped I would be. Overall I am a bit tired of Supernatural at the moment, so the finale/hiatus comes at the right time. Things will probably look different once season 14 starts.

The finale felt consistent with the overall themes of the season, but in some ways it also felt like a matter of duty. I don’t know how to properly explain this but it felt to me that they knew pretty early one where they wanted to end the season, and then build the story towards it. Which in the end made the story less organic. It was more like certain things need to happen so that certain characters would feel in a certain way to make certain decision. It was more a game of how we get from a to b, then letting the story develop in its own way.

And overall I feel that in some ways the show has develop backwards instead of forwards, considering the last shot and what will likely happen in season 14. We have to wait to see how they will handle this particular arc, but to be honest it is something I am not looking forward to.

And speaking (vaguely) about Michael!Dean I have seen some sort of discussion about the fact that the finale was too predictable, especially as Bob Singer has said before that the audience wouldn’t see coming what was about to happen. Which we all did. To the point that people thought Michael!Dean was way too obvious, once Jensen had teased he would play another character, throwing in all kind of other wild thoughts. And giving Jensen’s outfit in the last scene including time travel as well, when in reality Michael just likes to dress dapper.

Anyway, it reminded me of the same kind of discussion that occurred after the season 9 finale, because many had predicted before that we would get Demon!Dean. And the same people complained after the season 10 finale that the Darkness/Amara came out of the blue. The question is how predictable can a show be and does it say something about the quality of said show? Because I prefer it if the storytelling is consistent rather than having a plot twist just for the sake of it. Plot twists can add something to a story (“Arrival” did this in a great way) but if they don’t it is better to leave them out of your story. Michael!Dean wasn’t a plot twist to me and many others, but it might be to some very casual viewers (though they weren’t really subtle this year). Which is always something to be considered because not everyone watches the show the way we do, as say experienced viewers who see patterns and tropes and spend months analysing this show. Hell, even Jensen is at times confused about certain developments fans had seen coming a long time ago. Does the fact that we were calling out took anything away from the Michael!Dean reveal? It didn’t for me. It was after all where the story was heading, and any other choice would have made less sense.

But now, one last time this season, let’s take a closer look.

**Wake up Maggie (I think I got something to say to you)**

I admit that I expected the episode to be more crowded, that we would see more of the people from the apocalypse world and that it would take place immediately after 13x22. But some time has passed, which makes sense as Michael and Lucifer needed some time to get the ingredients for the spell, and we get a little update on what has happened in the meantime. This made the episode smaller and more intimate than 13x22 and reminded me on how season 12 ended. 12x22 tied up many story threads, mostly the BMoL and Mary’s arc and ended on a rather happy note (group hug). 12x23 however felt more like a set up for season 13 than an ending. This season as well 13x22 felt more like an end; the family was reunited, the people from the apocalypse world were saved and the threat of both Lucifer & Michael was seemingly gone. 13x23 now feels more like an exposition tool of what to expect in the coming season.

We learn a bit about what has happened in the meantime. Everyone has settled in, as there is no way to go back to the other world without archangel grace. They learned about the horrors of this world (Trump), Ketch is doing Ketch things (whatever that means) and Rowena & Charlie are roadtripping together. [The promo shots for 13x22](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsupernatural.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FFile%3AExodus_19.jpeg&t=OTU2YTk5MWUwYmRiYWE4ZDliMzgzMzcyMDE3ZTMyZDFmOGZhYTExZSxETkpOQm5XZQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F174059946217%2Fthoughts-about-spn-13x23&m=1) suggest that there is a missing scene from that episode where Charlie & Rowena were talking. Our Charlie met Rowena only once, in 10x21, and while Rowena appreciated her talent it ended in a pointless and stupid catfight (with Charlie leaving, which ultimately resulted in her death). But Rowena has changed and this Charlie is different than ours, and perhaps it was a small apology from Dabb to see this women team up instead of fighting each other. And I bet all the Bobby/Mary shippers loved seeing them together walking through the rain. Still, I wonder if all those people who weren’t supposed to be in this universe will cause consequences on say… a cosmic level. Pretty sure Billie doesn’t approve.

Meanwhile we see Team Free Will 2.0 hunting together. Of course with Jack’s powers everything is easier, leading Dean to think of retirement, which in his case involves a beach and Sam and Cas. Still Jack feels guilty for all the people he couldn’t save, including the ones from 13x18, when he learns about Maggie’s death. This subplot seemed at first a bit strange; we hardly knew the character, so even though it was tragic I didn’t really care. I liked that they reminded us that not all monsters are actually monsters. Still in the end Maggie’s death was used to extend Jack’s already established guilt, have him act out against her supposedly attacker, which only caused more guilt and to reveal Lucifer’s true nature. And even though Maggie was alive again by the end of the episode I am not a huge fan of using a character’s death as a catalyst to move the plot forwards. At least we got agents Destiny’s Child out of it.

**This is the beginning (of the end)**

One of the strongest scenes of the episode, especially regarding the acting, was Jack’s walk through the woods. Alex completely knocked it out of the park in showing Jack’s inner conflict and torment. I didn’t really knew what to expect of this character when the season started but I loved what the writers and Alex did with the character. In comes Lucifer who of course knows exactly what to say to get Jack where he wants him (also someone please give Jack a lightsaber, he deserves one). Lucifer only ever addresses the differences between humans and angels, that angels are not meant to be among humans. But it is because Lucifer despises humanity, whereas Jack is distraught because he feels like he hurts the humans around him instead of protecting them. Lucifer wants to make Jack believe that he is the only one who understands him, but he never did. The only other person who knows the conflict between his angelic nature and his human family is Cas. Cas has been set up as Jack’s real father since 13x01. Lucifer, throughout the whole season, was set up as Cas’s dark mirror. And he knows, which is why he refers to Cas as “the other one” instead of naming him like he did with Sam & Dean (so the showrunner set up the big bad as a bronlie, who then dies… interesting).

Meanwhile Michael finds his way to the bunker and reveals his big evil plan, which is to kill all the sinners in the world, starting with Dean (and if we see him continue this plan in season 14 will he start with Trump then?). He wants to improve this world, and interesting enough Lucifer says something similar to Jack. They both think they are above humanity and once again hubris is the big bad. But as it turns out there is someone powerful enough to stop them both. We see how Jack destroyed Michael’s vessel and how he forced Lucifer to tell the truth about Maggie. And look I neither like Lucifer or the guy who plays him, but Mark P. did a good job in portraying him as the evil creepy bastard that he is (which I prefer over whiny Lucifer). And in a shocking twist of events it is revealed that Lucifer only ever was interested in Jack’s power. Which he promptly steals. Which on a larger scale solves the problem of what to do with Jack as a character, because he was getting too powerful for the plot to work (we saw how fast they could kill those vamps with his help). This also only leaves Michael as the only being powerful enough to save heaven.

We get a change of scenery and I don’t know why Lucifer chose this church other than for the aesthetic (because biblical fights have to go down in a church, right?). Now that seemingly no one can beat him Lucifer shows his true face. He mentions that he can make more children, which indicates that he would have probably raped innocent women and later harvest his children for their powers. Lucifer is now the opposite of everything the show stands for: love & family. And family is still what Jack is to Sam, despite his lack of powers, despite the blood on his hands. Sam and Jack’s arc comes full circle here. Sam, just as Cas, Dean and Mary, truly cares about Jack. They are his human family, they are the family Kelly couldn’t be for him. We talk so much about Cas choosing to become human in the end, but I think this was where Jack’s story was headed all along as well (though just as Cas in season 8 he never had the choice to give up his powers).

And then of course there is Jack’s “I love you, I love all of you”, moments before he wants to sacrifices himself so that Sam can kill Lucifer. This is the third time we get the repetition of a Destiel scene this season. In 13x18 Sam said “We need you, I need you” to Gabriel, just as Dean did to Cas in 8x17. The “I love you” of course was first heard in 12x12 when Cas was on his deathbed. Now some people are worried these scenes are reused in a platonic context to retcon the original Destiel scene as platonic as well. Others think it is to highlight the difference between those scenes. I admit that I wasn’t quite sure how to read them as well, but I think the third time they reused a Destiel scene is the key to understand those mirrors. And that happened in 13x21 when Lucifer resurrected Sam, and used words similar to when Cas resurrected Dean in 4x01. Because why the mirrors in 13x18 and 13x23 were simply platonic, this particular mirror in 13x21 wasn’t. Cas resurrection Dean was salvation; Lucifer resurrecting Sam was pure horror (and again painted Lucifer as Cas’s dark mirror). If this mirror is used to show us the difference between those scenes then the other mirrors have the same function, highlighting how different they are from the original Destiel scene.

In the meantime we have Dean and Cas left behind with a weakened Michael. The whole story is orchestrated to this point, with an all powerful Lucifer, about to kill Sam & Jack and to destroy the world, making Dean desperate enough to offer himself as Michael’s vessel. What is interesting here is that he uses the word “sword” instead of “vessel”. Because Dean’s destiny has always been to be a weapon to destroy Lucifer, but it makes me wonder about the nature of vessels. We know that all angels have one true vessel, that they can use other humans from the same family, and that a wrong vessel is more likely to get destroyed in the process of containing an angel. But is there really only one Michael sword? Does it only exist in the universes where Dean was born? Is that why the apocalypse didn’t start 100 years ago or something because the angels had to wait for Dean to be born and to be old and strong enough to be a vessel? What does this say about the vessel Michael used in the other world? (And what happened to the poor guy once Michael left? The last person who survived being an archangel’s vessel was braindead afterwards) What significance is there in Michael using the Michael sword as his vessel instead of any other poor shmuck?  And then of course we have the deal Dean makes with Michael, of being able to have the upper hand, and even then we already know that Michael will not follow through. Why would he?

What we don’t see is the moment however when Dean says yes. Of course this so that Michael!Dean can have his epic entry (and yeah it looked pretty awesome) but it leaves some sort of space to be filled. Because Cas was still around, and the question is if the show will fill this fan fiction gap through a flashback in season 14. What were Den’s last words to Cas? Did he made Cas promise to bring him back? Cas of course already knew that Michael would break the deal. Sam & Jack and Dean & Cas were the two pairs of the season. But where Sam and Jack’s story came to a satisfying end (watching their abuser getting killed, confirming once again that they are family), Dean and Cas’s arc didn’t. We started the season with Dean mourning Cas and we end it with Cas mourning Dean. The fact that we didn’t see the final moment between them before Dean said “yes” is significant in its absence.

The final fight between Lucifer and Michael was… well… a thing… that happened… on the show. Which looked completely stupid. I don’t know if this was a decision made by the writer (Dabb) or the director (Singer) or both of them, but once they saw the dailies they should have realized how dumb it looked. They didn’t look like they were flying, just like two guys hanging on a wire, and you really can’t blame the actors for it. Even the previous fights, where they just threw light (grace?) at each other, looked stupid. Whenever we saw two angels fighting each other it never looked like this, so why now? Especially after the show hired a new stunt co-ordinator this season and everyone had been praising the fight scenes this season. The other weird directing/editing choice was the freeze frame at the end. The only way this makes sense if it was a reference to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video. Which was cool in 1982 but not 36 years later.

So let’s focus on the only good thing out of this fight: LUCIFER IS FINALLY DEAD. This was my biggest wish for quite some time, not only because I hated the character but because his storylines felt pointless the last seasons. I wish Sam, as his biggest victim, would have been involved more in his death, instead of just assisting. And I hope he immediately called Rowena afterwards to tell her the good news (and as her for help regarding Michael).

And speaking about Michael/Michael!Dean. We saw this coming for quite some time, and the more time I had to think about it I remembered why I initially disliked the idea. A lot of this season has been focusing on the past. We revisited past choices (Mary’s deal), brought back dead characters (Rowena, Gabriel, Ketch etc) and the episode that was referenced the most was 5x04. Where Zachariah showed Dean the future and that ended with the creepy image of Lucifer telling Dean that no matter what he does Sam and Dean can’t escape their destiny. They both have said “yes” to an archangel, they both did fight the other archangel, though not at the same time. But the greater story of season 5, and the show as a whole, was to beat destiny, to make your own choices. Free will over fate. Back in 5x18 Dean was on the edge to say “yes” to Michael and within the episode it was coded as a suicide, with Dean giving up and writing a goodbye letter.

This is why I have massive problems with this current development, because it seems the story moves backwards instead of forward. Gabriel’s arc was resolved by the end of season 5, yet they brought him back just to repeat his story. Lucifer’s story was finished by the end of season 5 and yet they brought him back and gave him one stupid storyline after another. I love this show but at the moment it seems like they are running out of ideas. Sometimes it is great to look back and revisit forgotten arcs, like bringing back Claire. But Dean saying “yes” to Michael? At the moment I can’t see how they make a good story out of this. If Michael is the big bad for season 14 I doubt Jensen will play him the entire time. Hopefully more than just three episodes (see Demon!Dean), but it is possible Michael either has to find another vessel or we get a different big bad. And as they can’t kill Michael while he still uses Dean as a vessel we probably get a similar scene to 5x22 where through the power of love Dean is able to get control over Michael (which hopefully involves Cas). Either way Michael is up to no good, out there to improve our world in his image and to kill people he thinks are not worthy. Which will leave blood on Dean’s hands and incredible guilt to deal with. Whereas Sam & Cas will team up to save Dean, and later Cas goes on a side-quest to save heaven. All storylines we gave seen before. And while we need obstacles the last three seasons (11-13) the threat was extern, with Sam & Dean being on the same side, which I actually prefer.

Of course one shouldn’t judge a season before it airs but at the moment my excitement for the next season isn’t as high as usual, and overall I am a bit tired of the show right now. This probably won’t last and who knows maybe I will love what they do in season 14, you never know. Until then I hope you all have a great summer/hiatus. Love you.


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